Post Work in Progress for Peer Review


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 4 posts ] Average score:  
Author Message
 1st Chapter of Superkidz!

Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2014 3:12 am
Posts: 14
Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:45 am
Chapter One:
I never thought this would happen. After class, I got met in the hallway with Byron, one of the biggest bullies in our school.
"Hey, Swain!" I said.
"Hey Lunchmeat . . . or also known as dead meat!" Byron threatened.
"Back off!"
Then, at that exact moment, Mrs. Marshwater walked into the hall. She stared at him as she opened her eyes wide. Byron then threw me at her. I felt the wind blow out of me as I went through the glass doors out of the new school building.
"OW!" I yelled loudly as I hit the ground and scraped my body. I looked at my hand, scratched and bloody because of the sidewalk and glass chippings.
Byron walked up to me and picked me up, "This is the last time you forgot to pay." Then, he threw me through the doors of the old school building. Not only that, there were stairs through that. I fell down the metal stairs and everything went black.
* * *
When I wake up, I'm in a familiar room, the hospital room that I have been in about a gizillion times. Byron has targeted me through the years. Room 25A is like my home.
A nurse comes in, "You have a visitor." A sigh comes out of my mouth and I think I know who it is.
"Hey, deadmeat!"
How did you like it? Please leave a comment and a like in the comment box! Thanks!

 Re: 1st Chapter of Superkidz!

Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2015 2:48 am
Posts: 1
Thu Jan 08, 2015 2:57 am

I think it is a good start but it is to short and undeatailed.

 Re: 1st Chapter of Superkidz!

Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:59 pm
Posts: 3
Mon Jan 12, 2015 1:20 am

I agree with my bestest friend, werewolfwolf2245. It's way to short and undetailed. By the way Werewolfwolf2245, I found you finally! Mow how do I FRIEND you?

 Sorry about the Low Amount of Details

Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2014 3:12 am
Posts: 14
Tue Feb 10, 2015 10:26 pm

I am so sorry about not having enough details. I will post the new version soon. Thanks for telling me!

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
   [ 4 posts ] Average score:  

PRS © 2008 PRS Team