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 A Beginning of Idea-- looking for constructive criticism--

Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 1:13 am
Posts: 21
Mon Dec 29, 2014 4:35 am
Davie stared out the window of the back seat, combing his dyed red hair with his fingers. He absent-mindedly was listening to his mum and dad argue with each other over which direction to go. It happened every time they took a family vacation somewhere. His dad was tech savvy, and was following the GPS on his phone. Davie’s mum wasn’t so up to date on her devices, and was reading from a map of Scotland.
“The map tells us that we should take a right on Route 38,” his mum advised.
Davie’s dad replied, “Too bad, the phone says to go the other direction.”
“Who cares? I say we follow the map, as tradition is for most.”
Davie piped in, “To be honest mum, most people don’t even know what a map is these days. If they do, their idea of a map is a lot different from yours. For example, they can fit theirs into their hand. A lot unlike from yours, which you can barely fit into the car.”
“Not you too Davie,” his mum groaned.
“Sweetie…” Davie’s dad began, but stopped.
Davie had been watching out the window, and noticed something peculiar for a moment. All the cars had stopped, the vroom of the engine extinct, and the chirping of the birds missing. Even Davie’s dad had stopped talking mid-sentence. It lasted for a few seconds. Then the world started up again, oblivious to the phenomenon that had just occurred. 
“…you have to get with the groove,” Davie’s dad continued. 
“Did either of you guys notice what just happened?” Davie asked.
His mum and dad both turned around simultaneously. “What?” they spat.
Davie said again, “Didn’t you see it?”
His mum spoke in a soothingly worried tone, “See what, m’dear?”
“I… never mind.”
His dad, whose eyes were on the road again said, “I think you’re getting a bit drowsy lad. Best get some sleep, we've been on the road nearly four hours now.”
“Yeah, I’m just tired. That’s all.” Davie leaned back and rested his head against the head rest. His eyes shut and he fell asleep.

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