Speaker: You’ve heard of those kinds of love stories where the geeky yet invisible girl tries to get the guy, right? Or at least the kind where the geeky girl admires the guy from afar. Blah, Blah, Blah! It’s all the same and it’s Garbage. Plain, old, smelling garbage. But what if I told you that the whole story was twisted. Really twisted, actually! So twisted that you wouldn’t even understand what was going on. Well of course you’ll understand what’s going on, but I’m just trying to emphasize the point that the whole plot of this story is really confusing. Well not confusing, just twisted. But not twisted as in dizzy. Just twisted. As in…um…well…twisted I guess? Oh never mind. Ok, well this is the story and I hope you like it. If you don’t, you can blame the writer. But if you love it, just try to not make the applause too loud. Wouldn’t want anyone to get too jealous now, would we.HAHAhAhA
(Taken back to the beginning)
(Now at school, characters: Kristy, Lauren, background extras)
Speaker: So…anyway, this is where the story begins. Right at school. I know what you’re probably thinking: “Oh my gosh! It’s school! What a totally unoriginal scene to put in a story!” But just hang with me for a sec. Once we get into the plot, you’ll totally be like: (enthusiastic cheerleader voice) Omg! School! Whoo Hoo! Oh, and by the way, my name is Christy. The one with the tom-boy look, hair in pony tail, hazel eyes. Yep, that’s me! And don’t I look so cute in this scene. I was only 13 years old and 2 months. Now I’m 13 years old and 8 months. Isn’t that exciting?
Christy: So, Lauren, how was your summer?
Lauren: Oh my gosh!!! I just knew you were going to ask! You see I have something called a fifth sense. Kind of like what Karen had in Mean Girls. Yeah, I’m psychic. It’s like a gift!!! Oh and my summer was great. I went to Hawaii and met a cute guy. I read in this book that you must sniff a person to show your sign of affection. So I sniffed his hair and he walked away. That’s good right?
Christy: …Sure. Exactly what book were you reading when you found out information.
Lauren: This book. Here I’ll show you.
(Lauren takes the book out of her locker and shows it to Christy, revealing that the title is: Dogs for Dummies)
Christy: Okay…um… Lauren. You do realize that this book is about dogs, right?
Lauren: Well, duuuuuhhhhh! I’m not stupid Christy. I was looking through this book and I found the category “Signs of Affection”. Obviously dogs don’t show other dogs signs of affection, so this category is for people like you and me.
Christy: Or maybe just for people like you. HAHAHHAHAHA... Am I the only one laughing? I dont think so...
Lauren: So how was your summer, Christy?
Christy: Nothing much, just stayed home most of the time.
(Bell rings for class to start in 5 min)
Christy: I guess I better go, see you at lunch.
(End of scene 1)
(Scene 2: At home)
Speaker: Lunch was great! Psh, are you kidding me?! School lunch is never great; it’s always meatloaf surprise or veggie burgers. They think that their filling us with nutrition, but once you even pick up whatever’s on the menu for the day, it’s like eating a banana filled with mold. It’s gross, right? Talk about committing nutrition suicide. Anyway, the first day of school was okay. So, back to the story.
HHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Why are all of my responses 'HAHAHA'?
Mom: How was your first day of your sophomore year in high school? Feeling good?
Christy: It was okay
Speaker: Wow, de-ja vu.
Mom: Did you see any cute boys at school that you think you might be interested in this year?
Christy: Mom… please don’t start that again…
Mom: Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot. Teenagers don’t like to discuss the “boy” topic around their mothers. It’s just not cool. Am I right? What’s that term again: Don’t get all up in my asparagus. Or was it cool-aid. It’s so hard to remember which type of food I can’t get all up in.
(Christy just stares at her in a weird way) Funny. Really funny.
Christy: …Okay, you know what mom. I’m just going to go up in my room and start on my homework.
Mom: Okay sweetie, let me know if you need anything. Any asparagus, cool-aid. Okay, I’ll just call you for dinner.
(End of Scene 3)