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 All She Wanted was a Friend (Please Read and Reply!)

Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:24 pm
Posts: 1822
Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:05 pm

All She Wanted was a Friend


A friendship is something to be treasured, nourished, and loved. It is important - a bond between two people. A friend should be there when you need them, and even when you don't. A friend is someone who, not only do you laugh and share happiness with, but stays around for the hard times too. A friend should be like a sister. That was when I realized that *Savanna wasn't my best friend after all.


I was innocent - only a first grader, going to a brand new school. Pigtails atop my head and wonder in my chocolate eyes, I stepped onto the playground, my heart beating, ready for a new experience. A blond girl, my same age with a string of freckles across her face came to meet me, asking me to play. Young and trusting, a took up the offer. I latched onto her like a lost puppy looking for a home. By the end of the school day, I had looked into her sparkling blue eyes and pledged my friendship to her. "Forever," I had said. Little did I know how short "forever" would be in this case.


First grade came and went. I stuck by her side through fights, and everything. Some days, she would tell me to wait in line on the blacktop so that she could be first in line when recess came. I listened...because I was her friend. Sometimes she would make me cry the way she treated me. She was harsh, hard on me. I always thought she was trying to help me, at least that's what she told me. She was a teacher to me, telling me to keep my head high - telling me that we were too old to play imaginary games. She was always blunt when it came to the way I dressed. I never cared much for style, but sometimes it really hurt.


By second grade I was becoming more aware, more suspicious. I noticed that when people came to sit by us at lunch, some she would welcome, others she would dismiss. I didn't understand it, but I knew as long as I ate with her, she would give me some of her chocolate bar. I thought she was being generous - almost even kind.


That year, our two-some became a three-some. A boy, *Sam, joined our, what now was a friendship triangle. I thought it was all good fun, but pretty soon, Savanna began noticing boys. She immediately became, what went to the point of obsession, hooked onto a boy, named *Anthony. He was all she would talk about anymore. Some days, she would run of and chase Anthony, completely abandoning Sam and I. I had never been one for drama.


I began to grow closer to some of my other more-distant friends. I realized that I was no longer the new-girl who wasn’t there in kindergarten, but that people actually liked me. I was almost even popular. Third grade came and I began noticing these things more and more. I realized that when Savanna told me to save her a spot in line, I could say no. I realized that if I didn’t want to play the game she was playing I could walk away. I began to realize that I wasn’t her own personal robot. I didn’t have to do anything. And I began to realize that Savanna liked controlling me—that she wanted me to be her robot. And I realized that Savanna wasn’t my friend. I realized she had been using me this whole time.


One day I went to sit down at our usual lunch table. We were in pretty much the last month of third grade. I had asked her if she wanted to sit with my other friends. “No,” she had said. The first thought that crossed my mind was How rude! Mom had always said it was impolite not to say no thanks. Then I wondered. Why wouldn’t she want to sit with them?


“I think I am going to sit with them today,” I decided.


Her menacing blue eyes narrowed. “No, you’ll sit with me.”


I didn’t understand it at first and just sat down like every other day. This continued to happen, over and over again. She wouldn’t let me do anything with anyone but her. I didn’t get it. Why couldn’t I have other friends. The next day, I asked again if she wanted to sit with my other friends, only to receive the same response. “No,” was all she would say.


Anger beat through my blood like never before, poisoning my heart. I was fuming. Finally I grabbed my brown lunch bag off of the lunch table. “You know what Savanna? I’m going to go sit with them anyway, because you’re not my friend anymore!” With that I smacked her hard on the back, despite the fact that Mom had always told me hitting was wrong, and made my way to the other table. I felt so welcomed there. Everyone greeted me cheerfully and I took a seat next to my good friend *Jennifer. As I looked around to face to face, each one greeted me with a smile, and I realized, these are my real friends.


The next day, Savanna was sitting at her time, this time all alone. A feeling of guilt overwhelmed my body, replacing the anger from the day before. She looked sad. I realized that I was her only friend. That was why she had protected me so much. That was why she didn’t want me to have other friends. She was afraid of losing me. She wanted someone who would look up to her like I had, someone who would listen to her like I had, and someone to be her friend, just like I had. And then I did something unexpected. I stood, and walked right over to Savanna and brought her back to our table, but not before apologizing for hitting her the day before. “Eat with us,” I told her. “Everyone, this is my best friend, Savanna.” A smile of joy fell across her face and the table greeted her, just as they’d greeted me. As I looked into her bright blue eyes, I noticed a tint of joy that had been absent the whole time I’d known her. And then I forgave her. All she had wanted was a few good friends and that is something that everyone, even people like Savanna, deserves. She just didn’t know how to ask for it.




~ Allie

 Re: All She Wanted was a Friend (Please Read and Reply!)

Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2006 7:42 pm
Posts: 478
Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:33 pm
Thanks for sharing this memoir, AutoreDiEssere. Your narrative progresses naturally and you unify it well by starting out with a mediation on friendship and contrasting your experiences with this ideal throughout the whole thing. Your descriptions and dialogue helped me see the scene play out like a video.

There are a few words/sentences that you might want to take a second look at:
" A friend is someone who, not only do you laugh and share happiness with, but stays around for the hard times too." - This sentence reads a bit awkwardly. Try something like this: "A friend is someone who you laugh and share happiness with, but she stays around for the hard times too." (Technically, the first bit should be "someone with whom you laugh and share happiness" - tricky prepositions! - but that might sound more formal than you want.)

In the last sentence of the first paragraph, you say, "That was when I realized..." without saying what "that" was. Try adding something along the lines of, "When I started considering the true meaning of friendship, I realized..."

Your heart is always beating - I love the description of your innocent first-grade self stepping onto the playground otherwise, but maybe you should say how your heart was beating (fast? wildly? expectantly? etc) or change the verb (pounding, thudding, etc).

In "Young and trusting, a took up the offer," do you mean "I" instead of "a"?

Another awkward sentence: "She immediately became, what went to the point of obsession, hooked onto a boy, named *Anthony." The problem with this one is that it's a general rule to try not to split up phrases like "became hooked." Also, the more commas you have in a sentence, the more little bumps the reader has that interrupt smooth reading. Not illegal, but probably a good idea to say things as smoothly as possible. How about something like this: "She immediately became hooked onto a boy named Anthony to the point of obsession."

"completely abandoning Sam and I" - This is a tricksy grammatical point. "Sam and I" should be "Sam and me" because it's an object. (a good test: abandoning what object?) It also helps to get rid of the first name and see if it looks better to say "abandoning I" or "abandoning me."

Other than those little things, this is a great read - the details like description are well done, but you never lose the big picture, the theme of friendship and your several-years-long story. My favorite part is the last paragraph. You show that you've learned not only what friendship isn't, but what it is. I always love it when stories end with grace. :)

I look forward to more!

 Re: All She Wanted was a Friend (Please Read and Reply!)

Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:22 pm
Posts: 3690
Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:03 pm
  Awww...this is sweet! I love how real stories sometimes have happy endings. :smileyhappy:
          Everyone deserves to cry.

 Re: All She Wanted was a Friend (Please Read and Reply!)

Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 7216
Thu Aug 26, 2010 9:45 pm
Aw, the ending gave me a warm squishy feeling. (:


"Once upon a day,
I thought we'd find a way..."

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