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 Anti-Iris: Could this be the beginning of something...? >w<'

Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:55 pm
Posts: 80
Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:52 am

Please read and tell me what you think, but I'll do a bit of explaining right now.

Yes, I've jumped on the vampire bandwagon. I think this is kind of awesome, but I thought Twilight was awful, so I've tried to make it... oh, I don't know, like anti-Twilight?

Iris is a type of flower; in the language of flowers it means "joy of the believer" (or says Spiral: Bonds of Reasoning... yet to check them on that), so I guess "Anti-Iris" is "joy of the un-believer".

FINISHED! Now enjoy and please comment.

I’m gong to be honest: Valentine’s day stinks.
I mean, seriously. It’s awful.
Why would anyone in their right minds throw money at confectioneries (and more likely, large companies who produce highly processed garbage and rat feces off the backs of enslaved human offspring) and gain more fat and more sugar for only one commercially sanctioned day out of the year? At least Mardi Gras has some religious influences to loosely tie itself back to.
And either way, I can’t even eat you humans, even though you smell so sweet and happy. But I digress.
So, my tirade against Valentine’s Day ends on the classic note: I never get any Valentines, and I’ve been thirty-something and single since companies decided to capitalize on the dead saint.
Ah, right. I’m forgetting an important detail: I’m a vampire.
Make sense now?

So, my story stops being dull one Valentine’s Day, as a new-found friend of mine gets flung on my doorstep. As I unfold the newspaper that grey Tuesday morning, and start smelling the ecstasy in the air as small children rush to that infernal brick building that new-fangled government calls a school (I love sounding stereotypically my age), as the fragrance of angst wafts down the block from the only teenage girl, hoping her boyfriend:
a) hasn’t dumped her,
b) hasn’t forgotten the date,
and c) bought her a present,
I am reminded all too quickly that today is, indeed, Valentine’s Day. This means that I will need to do a few things to keep me from going insane from the smell of rising blood sugar: I must light all of the incense stations that will, at the very least, distract me from the inhumane amount of chocolate and candy and blood in the air. Turning off the lights, I settle in for bed, and make a sick-call in to work, informing them that I have, unfortunately, caught a cold and will not be able to come in to work for a few days. I can practically hear the receptionist nod slowly and dutifully write my name down next to the many others that have called in “sick”.

Realizing that the curtains are still open, I rise sluggishly to close them (as the sun will come out later, and I definitely don’t want it in my face later), and before drawing them shut, I notice mail in my mailbox. It wasn’t there before, which struck me as odd, but stranger things have happened within my lifetime. (Like getting caught in a tavern full of witches, tried, and burned at the stake all in one night: great times, but a story for another day.)

(...

I have yet to write more... How is it so far?)




 Re: Anti-Iris: Could this be the beginning of something...?
contributor

Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:58 pm
Posts: 1387
Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:31 am
Good job! It's really good. :) ~Jared



 Re: Anti-Iris: Could this be the beginning of something...?
new

Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:20 pm
Posts: 269
Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:38 pm
Very unusual... I like it!



 Re: Anti-Iris: Could this be the beginning of something...?
new

Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:13 am
Posts: 1
Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:43 pm

Hmm...you may have something here. Your writing style is intriguing, and full of potential. You started out with an interesting, bang sort of sentence, and I admre you or thinking of a perfect one. Continue, please! I'd like to see what happens next to our dear vampire friend.




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