My heart pounds, and I can feel it. Everything goes silent, as if a wave wiped it away, back into the sea that is my mind. I can hear my heart beating, slowly increasing in its sound, running into my ears. I know this isn't good. Because when my heart beats, they arrive. They taunt me and float about for a bit. They tell me things I normally would never think. But somehow they are stronger than me. I fight against them with the strength, logic, and courage I have. Yet they torture me stronger than I can fight them. I slip into the wave that cleaned the surrounding noise that was there before, and I cannot swim. I am slowly sinking, closer, closer, to the ocean floor, if there is one. My heart drums in a rock concert, and all I can hear is the ocean, and my heart, drowning both me and everything else. They arrive again. They bully me while I drown. They float around my head like bubbles, each with something else to share with me that I knew I would never forget about. I find something, or tell them something to distract them. They swim away for a while, and my heart beats normally. I am back again, back from the torture and the sea. But they hide. They will disguise themselves as my favorite things. Things they know I will do in my life. They slowly chip at my world and turn it into complete destruction. I heal temporarily from the torture. But the one scar they've left me is the fact that they will always come back. The scar they've left on me is the blurr in my eyes, that I somehow cannot see past. I am eternally stuck in this ocean, no matter how shallow it may get. And although I may be back from drowning, I know that I will eventually drown again. I know that the blurr in my eyes will always stay there. I can't fight them anymore. I know that nothing can help me. I will keep trying. But trying more keeps them entertained. So I don't know how to escape the ocean. I may wake up again, back in my room, my classroom, wherever I am. But I can never get rid of these thoughts. My anxiety is there. It is very much alive.
This is based around my anxiety. "Them" refers to the negative and terrifying thoughts I have. The ocean refers to how lost I get in my mind with them. The torture and drowning refers to how badly it damages my own thoughts.
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