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 Re: As Beautiful as the Sun- is Being Rewritten

Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 7216
Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:49 am
Wow! I love it! I'll definitely have to read more!
"This is where I write down my htoughts,
The diary of my head...!"

 Re: As Beautiful as the Sun- is Being Rewritten

Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:20 pm
Posts: 6260
Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:00 pm
I love it. It's much clearer than before, though I loved the old version, too.

"In the end, it's only a passing thing, this darkness.... There's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."

 Re: As Beautiful as the Sun- is Being Rewritten

Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:22 pm
Posts: 1
Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:56 pm
    It was Shemesh’s first day of summer. She was seven years old, and her parents had taken her to the pool to celebrate summer’s arrival. Before her friends arrived, Shemesh happily dived into the water, letting herself relish its beautiful smoothness around her…its warmth…she let herself be surrounded in its depths. Water made her feel much better. Out of the water she was Stringy Shemesh- dry and crackly everywhere, no matter how much ‘moisturizing lotion’ her mother lathered on to every section of her. In the water, she was perfect. Her hair was not ‘dry blond’, it was floating golden, spreading around in every direction, like the thread of the giant golden spool her mom had bought years ago. Her dry skin became silky and beautiful. Above the water, she saw the world half-blurred, and her mother had bought her glasses, which helped a bit. In the water, it was crystal clear. It was a shimmering mirror with no reflections and blue-green everywhere. It was dancing light. It was music without sound. It was silence’s symphony. It was everything.

            She could stay underwater the longest of all her friends. One time her poetic friend Annabeth suggested a stay-underwater contest. In determination to outdo her, Annabeth and the other three went blue in the face and were panting loudly when they surfaced. Shemesh did breathe air, not water, but sometimes she felt like she had gills when she went underwater.

            “Shemesh!” yelled Annabeth, who had just arrived. “What do you want to do?”       

            “I don’t know, you?” asked Shemesh.

            “We can practice our handstands,” said Annabeth, who had still not perfected her underwater handstand, although she knew perfectly well Shemesh could probably do a handstand off the diving board if :womanhappy:she felt the need to. Shemesh didn’t mind practicing handstands, she loved it. One day, she hoped, she would become a brilliant Olympic swimmer.

            She turned out a little different than that, but on that day, she enjoyed herself with her friends, playing innocently, knowing nothing of the great destiny that awaited her.

So what do you think?

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