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 Blood of the Ancients (Working Title)

Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:07 pm
Posts: 1
Fri May 10, 2013 1:23 pm
She ran flat out as her feet hit the dirt, bolting through the trees. Heart hammered in her chest, Bruce came running up beside her. She could hear the pounding of the Elites feet as they chased them through the forest. Grabbing Bruce's arm, I thought of the safety of the cave, miles behind them. suddenly, it was silent. No pounding of feet no barking of dogs, only the low far off howl as they found the dead trail. we both stood there a moment, breathing heavily. "We have to get moving," Bruce said, and standing this close I could feel his heart beat.

 Re: Blood of the Ancients (Working Title)

Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 12:29 am
Posts: 41
Sun Apr 06, 2014 11:38 pm
In the beginning, is it supposed to be in third person or is the narrator talking about someone else? Also, what are Elites?

 Re: Blood of the Ancients (Working Title)

Joined: Fri May 16, 2014 1:28 am
Posts: 4
Fri May 16, 2014 2:02 am
Nice with the Elites it's a good hook into your story! Might want to fix the view though. ("I" and "she" one or the other yanno) Write more!!

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