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 CHAPTER 1 OF ... I DONT KNOW YET
new

Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 8:59 pm
Posts: 42
Mon Jun 02, 2014 10:03 pm

Ok, so i have written the first two chapters of this book, working on more, and i need a title BADLY!!! this is part of the first chapter of the book, please reply saying if u liked it, and any title ideas would be very helpful. Here goes nothing...

Amber 

I was about 4 when Johny was born. I know, I know, now you might think that this is going to be one of those stories where the sister is jealous about the brother, and, by the way, if that is what your thinking, your very wrong. I could never, will never, be jealous of Johny. I remember when Johny was about 3 months old, Mom and Dad tried to prop him up with pillows, but he just just fell back down, When Johny was around 3, Mom and Dad took him to the doctor, but not your normal doctor, a special doctor. Then they found out Johny's problem. I don't know much about Johny's problem, and i don't want to. Life is hard enough  for me. I go to a private school, and like every school, their are the mean girls. I am their offcial enemy. And the worst part is, Genniffer, [ the leader ]  is my vice-principal's neice. I only have one friend in school, and that's Annie. Annie's brother is like Johny, so she understands. I met Annie at the doctor's once. 

cheekyOk, well that's what i'm going to show you. I really hope you enjoyed  reading this. 




 Re: CHAPTER 1 OF ... I DONT KNOW YET
new

Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 11:08 am
Posts: 16
Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:00 am

smileyGreat job creekclimbing11! I think this was pretty good. Some parts need a little touching up such as the part where you say "I could never, will never be jealous of Johny. I remember when Johny was about three months old..." I think you should start a new paragraph since you're starting to talk about something a little different. Anyways, I'll be looking for your posts on the boards.

P.S. Thanks for commenting on my story. I'll have to read a few more chapters to help you think of a title. Keep up the good work. :)

Brainyelf38




 Re: CHAPTER 1 OF ... I DONT KNOW YET
new

Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:44 pm
Posts: 2
Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:42 pm

What about : My Life With Johny




 Re: CHAPTER 1 OF ... I DONT KNOW YET
frequent_contributor

Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:51 pm
Posts: 7835
Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:52 am

This is nice! You don't need all that explanation of not being jealous of Johnny, though. Just express it through the other things the character says and does. Also, please expand on Johnny's situation! This is too short for a full chapter, and readers love to have detail. smiley This sounds like it's going to go good places, though, so thanks for posting!

I'm sure a title will come to you eventually. Sometimes you just need time to focus your idea. smiley

Kira

Unofficial Adult  Advisor for Write It!




 Re: CHAPTER 1 OF ... I DONT KNOW YET
new

Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2014 1:55 pm
Posts: 58
Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:49 am

Great job on your story!!!




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