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 Children of Caltoon: Chapter One Part One

Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:24 pm
Posts: 1822
Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:19 pm

Chapter One: Addison Embarks on an Adventure

It had been a rather dreary day. The sun had overcome the whole town in one great big heat wave. Nearly every person in all of Caltoon were locked up in their houses (not that it mattered; they rarely left anyway) blasting the air-conditioning and sitting in their luxurious indoor lounge chairs plopped like sandbags in front of the television. Addison Stote stared out longingly at the empty roads of Caltoon. The heat could be seen radiating from the asphalt, but that didn’t change how much she longed to be out of the gigantic but gloomy mansion that her father had sentenced her too.

                She had never known much away from the walls of the Stote Mansion, but she knew that anywhere must be better than that prison. Her skin was a pale white from the little sun she’d been exposed to in her life and not one piece of dark chocolate hair lay out of place on her head. Addison had always thought her father terribly over-protective. Never once had she been allowed to go to the park and play like a normal kid. She was only where she was and never any more than that.

                Addison was unhappy and there was no doubt about it. Even though she had great freedom to roam the mansion freely (except for her father’s study which was strictly off limits) she still felt so cut off from the rest of the world. According to Mrs. Grunch, Addison’s private tutor, that was the way things ought to be in Caltoon. “How do you think your father ended up so successful?” she always would point out.

                How Addison hated the old woman. Secretly behind her back, Addison would sometimes call her “Mrs. Grinch,” just to defy her. Mrs. Grunch had been Addison’s private educator since as long as she could imagine. It took years to develop a hatred as strong as Addison’s for Mrs. Grunch. She was not a friendly old lady at all. By the looks of her curly golden hair, her rosy dimpled cheeks, and her round belly, she looked like a kind-hearted woman. But Addison had seen far beyond her appearance.

                Mrs. Grunch was one of those kinds of people who like to do something or make you do something, just because they know it bothers you. That was how Addison had ended up with a wardrobe filled only with dresses, perfectly straight hair completely destroying her natural curls (the only thing Addison remembered of her mother), and a gigantic list of rules.

                Addison remembered way back when she had looked up to Mrs. Grunch. Back then, she had thought that governess was doing everything for Addison’s own good, but she was quite off on that assumption. There was one particular conversation that Addison could never manage to push out of her mind. “Pretty girls like you should be wearing pretty little dresses!” Mrs. Grunch had insisted.

                “But they are so inconvenient!” Addison had tried to explain.

                Mrs. Grunch had smiled that fake, but lovely smile. “Why Addison—how in the heavens are gowns inconvenient! It’s what ladies ought to wear!” There she went again, telling Addison what she ought to be doing.

                “How will I be able to slide down the stair rail and climb up the bookcase ladder?” Addison had asked, still unsure about the new idea.

                Mrs. Grunch had just laughed her booming laugh. “Why—are those things a lady ought to do?”

                “Well, I suppose not,” Addison recalled deciding.

                Addison could basically see Mrs. Grunch clapping her chubby little hands and smiling so cheerfully. “Now that’s a good girl!” Her smile had then grown even bigger at that point. “But how many times must I tell you Addisonwell is not a proper way to begin a sentence. You are proper now, aren’t you?”

                Addison had nodded earnestly, determined to please her instructor. “Half of your usual dinner will do tonight. That ought to help you remember to use words correctly, don’t you agree?” Mrs. Grunch announced, snapping her fingers as if whisking half of the meal away.

                This had confused Addison back then, but now she was much older—old enough that now she understood that Mrs. Grunch did not care for Addison at all, nor did her father. She was not taking away Addison’s food because she wanted to teach Addison how to use words correctly—she had taken the meal away simply because it was something she could do—something that she knew would make Addison completely miserable.

                Eventually, of course, Mrs. Grunch began realizing that Addison was not affected by her half-meal punishments. “Good little girls like you needn’t be that skinny!” she always said. “Don’t you think Addison?” Then her meals were doubled rather than halved, and Mrs. Grunch forced her to eat every piece of food on her plate. “Don’t be rude to the cook Addison!” she would always say. “Eat or no desert for you!”

                Addison had always been a petite and scrawny little girl. She was tall (like her mother had been) with long, slender arms and legs. If it weren’t for Mrs. Grunch, Addison wouldn’t have to try at all to look pretty, but somehow the cruel teacher had put it into Addison’s mind that she was not naturally beautiful (“Naturally beautiful? Oh Addison, that’s just an old tale to make babies go to sleep.”) and needed to become beautiful. “Beauty stirs from a lady, Addison!” as Mrs. Grunch always said.

                Well if ladies are supposed to be beautiful than what does that make you? Addison would always think in her head, knowing if she dared to say it aloud, she would get in trouble and getting in trouble with Mrs. Grunch as her discipliner was not fun. Her unhappiness was proof enough for that.


 Re: Children of Caltoon: Chapter One Part One

Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:30 pm
Posts: 275
Fri Aug 20, 2010 7:37 pm
Oh Wow. this is good. This book has a lot of promise. I'll say this right know: If you do not finish this book I'll be exstremely depressed. Just one thing I think you should do is describe the dress better. Off to read chapter one part two of your book.

 Re: Children of Caltoon: Chapter One Part One

Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:10 pm
Posts: 997
Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:05 pm
Hmmmm... very interested... off to read part 2.



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