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   [ 12 posts ] Average score:  
Author Message
 Dangerous Love part 1
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 4:43 pm
Posts: 251
Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:57 pm
Character:Sabrina Shadows                                                 Character:Lysander  Sinister
Age:16                                                                                         Age:16
Eye Color:Golden                                                                      Eye Color:Silver
Likes:Art,Music,P.E.                                                                  Likes:Art,P.E.,Music
Dislikes:Math,Social Studies                                                  Dislikes:Math,Baseball

Sabrina: (Listens to Mp3)
Amber:Hey Sab
Sabrina:What was that? I didnt hear you
Amber:I said hey
Sabrina:Oh. Hey
Amber:Have you seen the new student?He is super cute.
Sabrina:No i havent
(Lysander walks down the hall way.Amber Faints)
Sabrina: Amber! Are you ok?
Amber:Didnt you see him????That was enough to make any girl faint
(Lysander looks into Sabrina's golden eyes)
Sabrina:Whoa

(Lysander talks with his bro ,Lucas)
 
Lysander:......
Lucas:Dude, pop quiz in math
Lysander: thanks bro

(All for of them go to science)
Mrs.Rodregez:We will be working with carbon dioxide and mixing Na +Ci to make salt
Sabrina:Great. Im to clumsy in this class. And Lysander is here.
Mrs.Rodregez:OK. Amber,Sabrina,Lysander+Lucas will be in a group.
Sabrina:(gulps silently)
Lysander:Hey Sabrina
Sabrina: How did you know my name?
Lucas:(Grins)
Lysander:(looks nervous)Lets just do this experiment
(He+ Lucas finish the expirement in a blink of the eye)
Mrs.Rodregez:Wow.Since you guys are finished you may go to P.E.
Sabrina:( and Lysander at same time)Finally

Coach Riley:Ok today we r doing dogdeball
Sabrina:Oh no
(Everyone gets on a team.Lysander and lucas r with Amber+Sabrina)
Coach Riley:READY?!?!?!
(Whislte blows loudly)
Max:LETS GET THE NEW KIDS!
(Everyone throws balls at lucas and Lysander)
Lucas:These people play like 3 year olds!!!!!!
Lysander:(Grins)
(Amber gets hit in with face)
Sabrina:Are you ok?
Lucas:Ill bring her to the nurse




 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
rookie_visitor

Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:05 pm
Posts: 18
Sun May 09, 2010 6:20 pm
I'm not a very good writer at all, but I can see that you are working to hard. You want to make it seem that the girls are really intrested in cute guys but you are over doing it a bit. All in all your work is pretty good.



 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:58 am
Posts: 319
Wed Jul 07, 2010 10:07 pm
Awesome! By the color of there eyes im guessing there vampires.



 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:58 am
Posts: 319
Wed Jul 07, 2010 10:07 pm



 Re: Dangerous Love part 1

Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:22 pm
Posts: 4
Tue Jul 20, 2010 9:43 pm
It could use some work, I can see where your trying to go with the cute boys, but overall it was okay



 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
contributor

Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:30 pm
Posts: 418
Thu Jun 02, 2011 10:20 am
I agree.



 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
regular_visitor

Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 1056
Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:06 pm

Well I like it. It's cute! smiley




 Re: Dangerous Love part 1

Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:53 am
Posts: 14
Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:51 pm

Could use a little bit of work, but I like the story line you've got going. Keep writing!

-McKenzie




 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
new

Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 8:56 pm
Posts: 4
Fri Apr 06, 2012 2:50 am

mailwow u did a good job of doing that play mabey i could do that but the bad thing is i have only one friend help can any one help me i mean useually im with every pop in school but all i have is my boyfriend thats pretty sad. but that was so cool.crying




 Re: Dangerous Love part 1

Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2011 3:11 pm
Posts: 505
Sat Apr 07, 2012 2:54 am

Can't wait for more! :3




 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
new

Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:26 pm
Posts: 12
Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:14 pm
i = good writer lookin 4 somethin 2 write



 Re: Dangerous Love part 1
new

Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:26 pm
Posts: 12
Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:21 pm
AWESOME PLAY LUV IT!!!!!!!!!!! :)



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