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   [ 11 posts ] Average score:  

Do you like this song?
1. OH MY GOSH IT'S FLIPPING AMAZING!!!! *wipes away tears* 53%  53%  [ 17 ]
2. Yeah, it's pretty good! 34%  34%  [ 11 ]
3. Hmmm, not bad... -_- 9%  9%  [ 3 ]
4. Eh... I don't like it! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
5. MEEEH THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!! 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 32
Author Message
 Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMMENTS?
new

Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:13 am
Posts: 30
Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:40 pm

Okaaay so i noticed that nobody really comments on stuff... so please comment!!! Thanks~ P.S. This is a weird song but yeah. P.P.S the parentheses means those words are sang at the same time as line line before, in case you're wondering... yeah... i think that's all... so here goes! :D Oh wait!!!! Lol P.P.P.S this song is about how people are so shallow and never go below the surface- so will you help me swim deeper?

Depth

Eyes that are glistening without

Tears that build up within

Heartache and sorrow and pain

Nobody's really listening

Somebody talk to me

Help me to understand

Chorus

Why is there no depth? (inside it's empty)

Everybody around fights (don't cry, cry)

To stay above the surface (keep your head up)

 I just need someone to say (it's okay to be sad)

I need solace and someone to hold (hold me tight)

Someone to say that it's okay

But I can't find any depth

 

2nd Verse

I'm swimming, treading water

Nowhere to be free

I feel like I'm drowning

I'm not, no not really me

I feel haunted my shallow people

We're alive, but we're asleep inside

Repeat Chorus

Ending

I walk along the edge (my life means nothing)

Ready to take the plunge ( will you catch me?)

I don't see any depth (still on the surface)

So I'm ready to do it myself (deep within I'm alive)

Join me? Join me? (don't be shallow)

Join me? Join me? (let's break the surface)

Do you think we'll go deeper? (can we make it through?)

Now we're treading water (I think we can do this)

Never letting go, no

Never giving up, no

Until we've broken the depth

 




 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:33 pm
Posts: 48
Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:54 pm
Wow!......................... I can tell you are an experienced song writer. You use powerfuul words with deep meanings, which is a big part of writing a good song. I wish I could write like you, but I'm only an ametuer:( Also, you come up with really good titles. I usuall y have trouble with that, but you're a natural:)! Keep writing! Real Lies Realize Real Eyes Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 Jade♥



 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:13 am
Posts: 30
Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:16 pm
Aaaaw thanks so much dancingfire8!!! I really appreciate your comment!!! And it's easy to make up a so g title- just choose a couple words that summarize your song! :D keep dreaming!!!



 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 9:20 pm
Posts: 26
Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:44 pm
WOW this is great i love it . I can tell this isn't your first song. I also love to write songs! Here is some of my work: chicka chicka boom boom: chicka chicka boom boom i don't wanna be ya. chick,boom, i don't wanna no no-000, 0 chicka chicka 00 boom boom um um yeah yeah-hh oh, no i don't wan-ta be ya, chicka chicka, booma not me me-e nooooo chicka chicka, (repeat) boom boom i dont wanna no, no, chicka, chicka, bo-oo-om! its all about how my older sister thinks all i want in life is to be her when i really don't. hope you all like it



 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME

Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:47 pm
Posts: 144
Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:36 pm
You.Are.AMAZING. with an extra ZING!!



 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
frequent_contributor

Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 9:52 pm
Posts: 6319
Thu Aug 02, 2012 11:43 pm
For someone who reads tons on amateur poetry every day, I really liked yours. I could imagine it set to music, and someone singing it. The only thing is that you don't really have a clear rhyme pattern. In verse one nothing really rhymes, but in the second it's an A-B-C-B-D-E rhyming pattern. Changing rhyme patterns on the chorus and special ending/bridge is okay and very common, but usually verses have the same pattern which is what makes them alike. But other than that, I thought it was very good and I applaud you for your merit!

 

Twinktoes87

Currently Listening To: "Scheherazade, Op. 35: I. The Sea and Sinbad's Ship", Rimsky-Korsakov

~Proud Supporter of the Rainbow~

Copy and paste this if you support the LGBT community and their rights

You got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything

~Fall For Anything, The Script




 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:24 pm
Posts: 150
Mon Apr 01, 2013 1:12 am
I really liked it. I've tried poetry, but I'm not that good at it. I just can't find the rigth words. By the way, could you check out my posts on the harry potter board? I'm really sad because no one replies to the stuff I post.



 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Sun Jun 02, 2013 10:45 am
Posts: 38
Tue Jul 16, 2013 6:25 pm
YOU KNOW, FOR SOME REASON, THAT REMINDS ME OF CLARITY BY ZEDD AND FOXES. YEAH I DONT KNOW WHY I AM DOING CAPS. I FEEL LIKE IT CUZ THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!! -VIVI



 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:20 pm
Posts: 269
Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:48 pm
I really, really, really love it! You make awesome songs!

~AmusedChicken22




 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2014 12:15 am
Posts: 47
Mon May 30, 2016 11:04 pm

this is AMAZING :) like REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY.....10 million more really's later..... AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!




 Re: Depth- by a dreamer-COME ON YOU GUYS WHERE ARE THE COMME
new

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:34 pm
Posts: 35
Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:35 pm

oh my goodness! That was beautiful!cryingIlove it soooooo much.

I can right songs too (in fact, i can sing them too!And yes I can sing)laugh




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