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   [ 3 posts ] Average score:  

Should I post more?
YES 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
Change a few things 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Bleh! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
NO! 50%  50%  [ 1 ]
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Total votes : 2
Author Message
 HELLO PLEASE READ!!!
new

Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:48 pm
Posts: 17
Sun Mar 22, 2015 10:45 pm

This is a book I am writing. Please comment.

The Price

 

Chapter One:

The Murder

 

John

            One morning I woke up, and got out of bed. I heard a loud cry. I rushed to my mom's room. Over her a fairy was on her stomache. My mom was dead. Dead. Hot tears dripped down my face. My face turned from sad to angry in one second. My face turned into red rage.

           "You! You killed my mother." I yelled, lunging toward her.

               The fairy flew away, noticing the anger in me. I decided to add one more thing before she was gone.

           "You'll pay for this!" I yelled.

            That day I decided to get even. That fairy would pay. She would pay. All fairies would, they were all evil. Nothing would save them, now that they were dealing with someone new.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two:

Melissa

 

            I flew as fast as I could back to Headquarters. Didn't that boy understand she was trying to help his mom? I shook my head and decided to deal with that matter later. I needed to go to my station and see how the weather was.

             All fairies had formed a group called the Earth Savers. We were trying to help people. I sat down by my computer.

Weather files. I clicked that and up came a file.

 

The weather in Southern Nebraska is warm. The temperature is 70 degrees. The wind is going 60 miles per hour.

The weather in Florida is 90 degrees. No high wind.

The weather in Maine is cold. The temperature is 40 degrees.

 

I smiled.  Done. I fell asleep and went off into Dreamland.

 

"Let it go! Let it go!" Frozen

 

 

 

 

                                              

 

 

 




 Re: HELLO PLEASE READ!!!
new

Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2013 4:31 am
Posts: 422
Sun May 10, 2015 3:11 am

That was pretty good. You're writing a good story! It's a good start for short fiction. But, this is the memoir board. if you want to post a story, you can go to the drama or novel board. Memiors are cold hard memories, not fiction. Sorry for the interruption, but it is a good story. ;)

 

-Cat




 Re: HELLO PLEASE READ!!!
new

Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:49 pm
Posts: 3
Mon May 18, 2015 10:16 pm

go do it




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