Post Work in Progress for Peer Review

Announcements


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  
Author Message
 in memory part 10
regular_contributor

Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:56 pm
Posts: 1509
Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:19 am
(the scene begins with dlyan and catlyn sitting across from each other at a round table with a large window on their right. It is raining, and they are both eating turkey sandwiches.)
 
Dlyan: You're not going to listen to my butt, are you, doctor?
 
Catlyn: (blushes) Scar told you, huh? No, I'm not going to. I was a little crazy when I was younger.
 
Dlyan (teasing) Were?
 
Catlyn: I don't know what scar sees in you.
 
Dlyan: You were right about this sandwich. It is awesome. So.. those people...
 
Catlyn: Yeah, they're always like that. Well, ever since scar got sick. Her sister is mad because she's not the center of attention anymore, and her brother is crying out for attention.
 
Dlyan: That explains the puppy ears.
 
Catlyn: Scar's father had to take care of her after her mother went back to work when scar was 4 months old, and she's always felt closer to him, and her mother is the 41 year old version of allison. Don't tell her I told you her age. She'll kill me and I have an art show in a week.
 
Dylan: You're good at analyzing people. are you going to be a physcologist?
 
Catlyn: Maybe. I want to be a doctor and help scar. Maybe actually listen to a butt, since that's now my calling card.
 
Dlyan: Your parents must be proud.
 
Catlyn: I met them once. The day I was born. They were in a horrible accident the day they took me home from the hospital and my aunt and uncle took me in. They moved me here when I was 7 because they inheirted my parents house and it held too many bad memories.
 
Dlyan: I'm so sorry. I lost my dad a few months ago. Your aunt and uncle must be proud.
 
Catlyn: Car accident?
 
Dlyan: He had scademis.
 
Catlyn: NO WAY!
 
Dlyan: You two girls are pretty close, huh?
 
Catlyn: (calmly) Sorry. it's just a rare disease and scar is the only person I know who has scademis. Wow, now I know what she sees in you. Besides your looks.
 
Dlyan: You're pretty honest.
 
Catlyn: Life's short. Say what you think. They can't burn you for it anymore.
 
Dlyan: Will scar be ok?
 
Catlyn: Yeah, she pukes a lot, and her father brings her here. She's on these pills and she can go a long time without puking, and then she starts again and her dad drags her here. Her mom gets mad because their insurance doesn't want to cover what they believe isn't nessecary so their parents have to pay the bills and her father always drags idoit and little idoit here becasue he thinks this will be the end. It's like the wolf who cried boy.
 
Dlyan: Don't you mean boy who cried wolf?
 
Catlyn: No, the wolf who cried boy is little idoit's favorite book. He wants catlyn out of here so he an have his spot as center of attention back, like his sister. And her room. Her room has this big flat screen tv her rich uncle sherm bought her and he wants it.
 
Dlyan: Uncle sherm?
 
Catlyn: he has a rich boyfriend. Uncle sherm also owns a cruise ship. Call him if you ever need a place to host you sea side bar mitzvah.
 
Dlyan: Thanks, I'll remember that. Don't you have any siblings? or cousins?
 
Catlyn: My aunt had a hyserectomy and can't have any kids, and my parents had only been married a year so I was their only offspring. They both come from small families so they wanted a small family. Plus, she had a miscarriage when I was 9. Unplanned of course and she said one was enough. Plus I keep them both busy.
 
Dlyan: Wow...um..
 
Catlyn: Yeah, I'm not a private person. What about you? Any little headaches running around your house?
 
Dlyan: No. My parents used to take in foster kids, but never more than 3.
 
Catlyn: Why did they stop?
 
Dlyan: well, one of them almost burned our house down and that was the end of that. and then my dad died, so my mom gave up.
(catlyn looks at her custom lego watch which matched the headband she is now wearing)
 
Catlyn: My aunt is coming to pick me up. I have to go. Um.. thanks for.... I don't know. keeping me company? Not killing me? Uh.. i'll see u at school tomorrow.
 
(catlyn gets up and runs away Dlyan shrugs and finishes his sandwich. Catlyn runs up the steps, and out the door and outside. Her aunt is waiting, and sipping a slushie.
 
Catlyn: Sorry I'm late. Mr larritate is going to murder me and serve mo to his canibal relatives.
(Jumps in car and her aunt drives away.)
 
 



Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  


cron
PRS © 2008 PRS Team