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 in memory part 6
regular_contributor

Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:56 pm
Posts: 1509
Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:17 pm
(scene in doctors office. Scar is sitting on an exam tabel in a thin undershirt tanktop, pulling lint off her top. There is a knock at the door.)
 
Scar: Go away! I like my internet service!

(doctor walks in. Short, gut bulging over belt,  bald walks in)
 
Doctor: Sounds like someone didn't get her million dollar manicure today!
 
Scar: No, she didn't. So, what's up, doc? How's that comedy routine?
 
Voiceover: Dr. benson, the best doctor anyone could ask for. The man was a part time doctor, part time comedian. He wasn't very funny, but I never wanted to tell him.
 
Doctor (sits down on little stool in front of scar) Why don't you tell me young lady? How have you been?
 
Scar: Eh, I've been okay.
 
Doctor: No pain, no tired feelings? (walks over to scar and takes his stethoscope from his pocket)
 
Scar: Not really.  (puts stethoscope on scar's bare skin and there is a silent pause before he takes it off) Don't tell me I cleared my schedule for that.
 
Doctor: Scar, what about the pills? Have you had any side effects?
 
(cuts to scene of scar puking in the middle of walmart and then one of scar sleeping at 3:15. on a saturday)
 
Scar: well...
 
Doctor: (takes blood pressure cuff and wraps in around scar's arm) Well, at first-
 
Scar: no offense, but I've been on these pills for over 6 months.
 
Doctor: Scar, at least you've got your hair!
 
Voice over: See?!
 
(after exam) Doctor: Well, Scar, If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't say you were sick.
 
Scar: But this disease has it's points of normalness
 
Voiceover: blah blah freakity blah
 
Doctor: and these pills are helping you-
 
Voiceover: live a little longer
 
Doctor: with pain and-
 
Voiceover: the side effect won't ever end
 
Doctor: Sometimes the side effects last a little longer.
 
(scene ends and a new one strats with scar pulling her sweater over her head and smoothing her long hair down. She puts her shoes on, and opens the door to find dlyan standing there with fake flowers)
 
Scar: shrieks and feels her heart pounding in her chest)
 
Dlyan (nervous) Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! Are you ok? I didn't give you a heart attack, did I?
 
Voice over: He knows!
 
Dlyan: Here.  (hands her the flowers)
 
Scar: Ok, so I'm sick and I'm going to die an early death! You don't have to rub it in!
 
Dlyan: I'm sorry, what?
 
voice over: Oh, crud! he didn't know!
 
Dlyan: Scar, i'm sorry. I wasn't trying to rub it in your face. I just.. saw these flowers and...
 
Scar: You know, don't you?
 
Dlyan: Yeah, and it doesn't bother me.
 
(Hallueh plays and scene ends.)

Message Edited by Write_It_Moderator on 11-01-2010 06:54 PM




 Re: in memory part 6
frequent_contributor

Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 7216
Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:09 pm


_TaTGurl_ wrote:

(Hallueh plays and scene ends.)


I literally burst out laughing here! :D


~Cavy

TWINKS AND KIRA!!!!!!!! WIA WRITERS OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!




 Re: in memory part 6
regular_contributor

Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:56 pm
Posts: 1509
Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:15 pm
I'm glad you like the ending so much! I kept thinking it didn't sound right, like who ends a scene like that?! and I was kind of embarassed after I posted it. Thank you for your comments. The text thing is pretty lazy, I know and the voiceovers are meant to tell you what scar's really thinking but I know it can get a little weird. I've been enjoying this and I'm talking to my prinipal about this being the play our school will do this spring and he said yes! I'm so excited! My friens are trying to talk to their prinicpal about letting them come over here after school for extra credit. and it'll look good on a transricpt, karen says.



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