Post Work in Progress for Peer Review


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 2 posts ] Average score:  
Author Message
 (Inspired by Teresa) A Series of Mixed-Up Stories From Our Mixed-Up Classroom

Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2009 1:20 pm
Posts: 5477
Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:42 am

Chapter One,

Bob and the Boogers, Jeff and the Burps

The class was wild. Paper airplanes and spitballs sailed through the air. The door swung open, and Ms. Adler, dressed in all white, walked in. “Enough, class!” she yelled over the screaming of the children. The class settled down. She tapped a wooden stick on her metal desk. It made a loud clang, startling all the kids who were still talking. All of the eyes, 32 of them in all, were on Ms. Adler. After a while of staring, she finally sat atop her desk, clutter free, and said, “Okay, class. Before Christmas break, I told you we would be having show and tell. Anybody bring something in?” A series of hands shot up, wiggling around like they needed to pee. Ms. Adler closed her eyes, and randomly pointed to someone. It was Bob Jefferson. He walked up to the front of the classroom, proudly holding a small box above his head. When he reached the front, he pulled up the stool that stood beside him, and put the box on it. “Over the break, my brother gave me this cool box!” The class groaned. They were expecting much more to it than ‘a cool box’. Bob opened the box. Nobody could really see what was in the box, but they could see a bunch of cool compartments. “I keep my booger collection in there.” The whole class leaned back in their seats. Ms. Adler was about to call someone else up, but Bob kept on going. “A booger is-” Bob pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket. “-a booger is a piece of nasal mucus, a lump of mucus in or from somebody's nose.” Ms. Adler gasped in disgust. Bob scooped a booger out of the box and started walking around the classroom, shoving it in people’s faces. Mary Jane Perez ran out of the classroom and started shrieking in the hallway. Some boys, like Jim Herschel, said things like, “Cool” and “Rock on, Bobby boy!” After Ms. Adler finally got Bob and his booger collection to sit down, Ms. Adler called Jeff Marten up, the smartest boy in the class, hoping for something decent. Jeff picked up a small Ziploc from under his desk. It appeared to have nothing inside it. “This, is a Ziploc bag that I found in the street a week ago. So, I decided to make it my burp bag, in which I burped in.” Jeff stated. “That’s enough-” Ms. Adler started. “Actually, it’s not enough! I have more to do!” Jeff exclaimed. He ran around the classroom, and suddenly opened the bag in front of Mary Jane’s face, who had just returned from the hallway. Mary Jane screamed and ran out of the classroom again. Dave Lambert, a very rowdy boy, snatched the bag from Jeff and threw it into the air. “Farts for everyone!” he announced. Ms. Adler rang a small bell that sat on her desk to stop the commotion. “Class, class. Okay. We’ll have a couple more people, but for the rest of the year, no more show and tell.” The class moaned and groaned. “Pooh-pooh for you!” Mary Jane yelled, happily. The whole class watched Mary Jane turn a vibrant red color.


“Bob! I got a phone call from your teacher!”

“Jeff, why did I get a phone call from your teacher?”



?Moral: Burps and boogers may cause a laugh, but never bring them school. Unless, of course, you need to burp in school. Then, it’s totally appropriate, only if you say ‘excuse me’. And, I guess that would be the case for boogers, too. Just cover your sneeze and say ‘thank you’ if someone says ‘bless you’.



Sorry for the lack of indents and paragraphs.

 Re: (Inspired by Teresa) A Series of Mixed-Up Stories From Our Mixed-Up Classroom

Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:32 pm
Posts: 12
Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:00 pm
it's a cute story

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
   [ 2 posts ] Average score:  

PRS © 2008 PRS Team