Here's my chapter! Sorry it's a bit rough, I didn't want to wait to edit it so it'll probably change tenses since that's my worst thing. Anyway, here you go- 1,527 words of sheer adventure and mishcheif:
So before we get to the hilarious part where Griffiths nose nearly gets bitten off by a bloody Mandrake plant, let's back up shall we? It all started with the nasty cheese mess, which was utterly not my fault, it was Potion partner Crosby's fault.
Never had I liked that Crosby bloke, trouble making is my field, and I don't like competition. Although, usually, I don't get detention for it. But when he offered his assistance in possibly the best Potions prank in Hogwarts history, I had to bury the hatchet and work together.
It all started out smoothly. We swapped the cheese in Professor Nott's usual cheedar crumpet with a horrid smelling cheese from France that Crosby's family sent him as a joke. One thing Nott is not known for is a great sence of smell- one time I sent off a dungbomb in the abandonned classroom next door and Nott didn't even notice the smell as others were running out of his room, covering their noses, tears in their eyes.
So it was all set. Hopefully the cheese was potent enough he'd taste it, and then we'd all get to watch his hilarious reaction.
Right after lunch, class starts. I was tingling in my seat from anticipation.
We had to wait a few minutes for things to get started, he wouldn't break out the crumpet untill at least the middle of class. As usual, I was paired up with my all year long partner Crosby.
"Okay," Professor Nott chirped "Today we will be drafting a Bundimun Pomade. If made correctly, and diluted to the right amount, it is quite useful for getting rid of dandruff. I warn all of you to be careful with the live Bundimuns that I will be handing out. They are a dangerous magical fungus that can secrete a highly corrosive acid that will burn if it touches bare skin. That is I required everyone to bring their dragon skin gloves to class today, you will be wearing them the whole time for safety. You have 45 minutes, good luck."
Across the room, I could hear the tiny 2nd year Alexa Potter snicker. Of course, it was quite ridiculous, why are we wasting our potion time on dandruff pomade? At least we had our little heist to lighten up class.
Crosby and I got to work on our pomade, which was turning out dreadfully. Crosby had already managed to burn a large whole in the wood countertop from Bundimun acid, and our cauldron smelled of rotting eggs while producing a nasty black smoke. Nott walked by and made a "tsk, tsk" sound, but turned his back and didn't say anything else as he carried along with his check. Then Crosby motioned at him excitedly, he had pulled out his crumpet!
We watched silently as he made his way over to partners McMahon and Potter's cauldron.
"Now now," Nott said, loud enough that those surrounding their table could hear "you need to crush the Bundimuns, not slice. Here, like this-" his hands swept over to the table where their knife was, but he paused to take the first bite of his crumpet, Crosby gripped my shoulder in excitement.
When he started to chew all seemed well, but in just a few seconds his expression turned sour. Then- the unexpected happened.
"He's choking to death!" Yelled out Potter, and she was right, caught by the horrid taste of the cheese, the professor had accidentally swallowed it too quickly, now he was making a loud hacking sound and grasping the work table as his knees buckled. The whole classes eyes focused on him. "Somebody do something!"
And just like that, Potter's partner, Dinah McMahon lunged and started preforming the heimlich on Nott. After a few good tries, Nott finally coughed out the crumpet. It soared through the air, flying, soaring over bemused student's heads, landing in Elena Griffiths cauldron on the other side of the room.
Apparently, stinky French cheese doesn't mix with bundimun secretion, because a second later there was a loud rumbling sound and out of the corner of my eye I saw Elena's cauldron explode. All. Over. Students near ground zero started screaming, sheilding their faces from the acidic solution. Griffith's herself ducked under the counter, but not before getting doused in bundimun juice. Smoke started to rise from the covered fixtures, and from students who had gotten a sprinkling.
Professor Nott, who hand only just recovered from his near death experience stood up straight started yelling.
"WHAT- WHY- WHO- EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM THAT CAULDRON AND GO TO THE SHOWERING STATION IMEDIETLY! GO GO GO!" Over 15 terrified students, including Griffiths, made a mad dash over to the Ministry of Magic regulated showers in the back of the classroom, supposed to be there for times like these when you want to get chemicals that could potentially burn your face off, well, off of you. People started cramming their way into the small shower, quite a site seeing as only about three people could fit in it comfortably. I sat frozen in my seat, while glancing at Crosby, who looked merely amused, and maybe a bit surprised. That whole explosion thing wasn't exactly supposed to happen.
"EVERYONE ELSE STAY WHERE YOU ARE." Nott's shocked/confused expression turned into pure rage. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS‽" His eyes darted around the classroom. From behind I heard a someone shout,
"It was Greenbelt and Crosby! I saw them sneaking in that godawful smelly cheese this morning!"
I whipped around, to see the Hufflepuff student Bletchly pointing at us, slimy git.
"Why I ever," Griffiths bursted out of the shower, soaking wet with an angry scowl on her face. She marched toward us "Greenbelt and Crosby you're going to get it!" She says, whipping out her wand and as quick as that sends a hex straight towards us. I ducked, but Crosby isn't as fast and it hit him straight in the chest, knocking him out of his chair on to the floor. Retaliating, Crosby clammered to grab his wand and sent one in Griffiths direction, but hit McMahon instead.
"HEY!" She yelled, as she stumbled to get back up, blindly sending a spell of her own near us, but since Crosby is already down, and I ducked again, it hit Bletchly behind us. It spread like wildfire and soon everyone casts spells through out the room. Professor Nott, who is shouting for people to stop through the yells of students, blares of safety alarms, and blasts of hexes, is hit himself, by Potter who was trying to aim for me. Wide eyed, she backed up and took cover under another work table.
Suddenly everyone is caught off guard when an ear splitting siren sound made its way into their eardrums. Some even drop their wands and cover their ears in pain.
"ENOUGH!" Professor Nott yelled, holding up his wand which was still flashing from making those loud noises. The room became dead silent as he peered around.
"Greenbelt, Crosby, dentention." My stomach sank, detention? I do pull tricks a lot, but rarely do I ever actually get caught. He paused and thought, then looked over at Griffiths in the carnage. "Griffiths, you too. Plus Potter and McMahon. I will see you all after school to give you your punishment. And everyone else, since we obviously don't have enough time to finish our pomades, class dismissed."
So that is how we all ended up where we are now. At least we weren't assigned to clean up our mess by hand, but Nott was still very toxic looking as he sent us off to Longbottom for plant sorting.
Now, where we we? Oh that's right, Griffith was getting her nose bitten off by a Mandrake. Right, so, it latched itself onto her face, screaming mad (we were still wearing our protective goggles so thankfully no one fainted) and Griffiths howled like a werewolf on full moon. If it wasn't so painful looking, her reaction would've been hilarious, she started screaming at the top of her lungs as it flopped around still holding on. McMahon, who was the closest to her, grabbed a long wormwood root and started beating the bloody mandrake off her face.
It eventually fell off, Professor Longbottom lunged and tried to catch the thing, but it picked itself off the dirt floor and wriggled it's way out of the green house through the loose overlapping panels by the door. I wrestled off my earmuffs and glanced over at Elena who way gripping the bridge of her nose, dripping crimson colored blood. As the professor helped her stop the bleeding, I looked over at Crosby and Potter, who were on my left.
"Today just keeps getting stranger and stranger." Peter noted. I nodded, no questioning that. I sigh.
"Well," I said, rolling my shoulders a few times "guess it's time for us to catch a Mandrake. Before, you know, it knocks out half of the school from it's shrieking." Potter and Crosby nodded in agreement. Without waiting for an okay from Longbottom, we put our earmuffs back on and ran out of the green house in search of the mandrake that got away.
A/N: Took awhile for me to connect everyone to the crime
Emerson and Peter pulled the prank, Elena was the first to cast a hex, Alexes hit Nott with a hex, and Dinah hit Bletchly. The rest kind of just got away with it XD Also, anyone like my use of the interrobang... eh eh eh?
Well, I'm out, that was too tiring.
~Proud Supporter of the Rainbow~
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"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our ☆★STARS★☆
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."
~Cassius, Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)