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   [ 14 posts ] Average score:  

What House do YOU Think Diana Should heve been put in instead of Slyherin?
Gryffindor 59%  59%  [ 10 ]
Hufflepuff 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
Ravenclaw 29%  29%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 17
Author Message
 My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:41 am
Posts: 8
Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:15 pm
I bit my tongue, i was sitting among other first-years on the boats leading to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I ran my pale, thin fingers through the dark, murky, water and quickly drew them back, the water was freezing. When we arrived, all of us lined up. "You shall be sorted into your new houses shorty" Professor McGonnigal informed us.She opened the door and led us in. the Great Hall was beautiful.Four tables lined with students waited to hear the outcome. "Ashley, Marisa!" McGonnigal yelled. A girl with flowing blond hair went up and put on a ratty old hat. The second it touched her head it yelled"HUFFLEPUFF!" The table with the yellow and black tablecloth cheered for her.Marisa blushed red and sat down. Finally, my turn. "Lestrange, Diana" I heard gasps and whispers as i went up to the front. "Did she say Lestrange? as in Bellatrix Lestrange?" "Maybe that's her daughter!" I pulled on the hat. "hard decision, stubborn, brave, a Death Eaters daughter...." I held my breath. "SLYTHERIN!" the hat yelled.



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:41 am
Posts: 8
Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:14 pm
Hi! im new so i could REALY use some feedback! thanks! Sapphirephoenix389



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:41 am
Posts: 8
Fri Nov 01, 2013 9:29 pm
Hey there!! this is the author, i could REALLY use some feed back on my story!!!! comment please!!



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:44 pm
Posts: 82
Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:04 pm
You should first edit it. It has some misspellings like, shorty instead of shortly and you forgot spaces and put a lowercase i instead of an upper case.



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:44 pm
Posts: 12
Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:33 am
I like it but can you PLEASE make the chapters a bit longer? I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:44 pm
Posts: 82
Sat Nov 09, 2013 3:28 pm
I agree with swimmingdolphin101!



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:41 am
Posts: 8
Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:46 am
Woah, almost 30 views! I wuv you guys. now, the second instalment! 2 hours later... Never in a thousand years would I have guessed this... I, Diana Lestrange, was being cornned by by Griffindor seventh years, " and WHAT are you doing?" a big burly one asked, chuckling ant my feeble attire, pajama bottoms and an an old white t shirt,"nothing." I said, fear spreading on my face. " slither away, little girl, your mother well?" one asked.I stoped. " HOW DARE YOU!" I screamed. I pulled my wand out. " AVADA KED-" I was cut short by a punch in the gut. they punched and pushed me down. no," I wont tolerate this..." darkness, cold laughter, "Stay strong, Diana!" my mums cry. now what? hope ya enjoy! comment, friend, and read! wuv ya, bros



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:41 am
Posts: 8
Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:56 pm
"DONT TOUCH HER!" a voice rang through my ears. who was it? i heard scrambaling. i woke up. a boy with almost white hair was standing over me. he held his hand out. i slowly grabed it. "Ummm..." i tried to hide my face, "and you...?" he asked prompting me"Diana, Diana Bellatrix Lestrange" i covered my mouth. The secret was out."Draco Malfoy, you a Slytherin to?" Draco asked. i nodded. i ran back and called over my shoulder"THANKS!" i ran off and made it into the common room my heart was racing, why did i have a connection to him? Authors Note: numba three! hope ya like! (Pretend that Diana and Draco are NOT related.) maybe some romance? find out NET time, bros, I wuv you guys^V^



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:44 pm
Posts: 12
Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:06 am
I don't know how others are feeling, but i think you should increase your installments and write a bit more formally. I love you writing A LOT and i think it is a great story idea, but try to improve on these points.



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2013 2:41 am
Posts: 8
Sun May 04, 2014 2:15 am
Cheesecake guys! I'm so sorry! i lost my account so i could not write! installment!! I Climbed into bed, brushing my hair from my face, i laid my head on my pillow, head swarming with a million thoughts, why did that Draco character seem so..so...so familiar? Oh well, i'll go over it tomorrow. The Next day... I woke up and stretched, my curly black hair obscuring my vision, i changed into my school robes and left the dormitory. i walked into a duel, red and blue and purple light flashed. my dark eyes widened as i regignized the boy who had saved my life shooting green light from his wand. Draco Malfoy.



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 5:27 pm
Posts: 213
Mon May 05, 2014 4:45 pm
Cool! I really like the story. :)
~Scotland



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:24 pm
Posts: 150
Sun May 11, 2014 2:02 pm
Wow, this is good! You should definitely continue!!! :D



 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:51 pm
Posts: 3
Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:17 pm


it's kinda hard for me to pretend Draco and Diana aren't related, so, yeah. I'm gonna have to say no to the Draco/Diana ship.




 Re: My Crazy : a fanfic
new

Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2015 10:33 pm
Posts: 6
Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:36 pm

This is a pretty good story so far, but I have some suggestions (if you don't mind).

  • Could you try to space out your writing a bit? It's kind of hard to read if you just clump it together like that, and I almost missed something several times.
  • The story is a little too... undetailed. Some more details would really, really help! And make the story a lot smoother. 
  • You should try to check for spelling and grammar mistakes, primarily the capitalization. I keep skipping over sentences because it looks like a huge run on. sad
  • Technically, since Diana is a Lestrange, Draco is a relative. They're first cousins. (Narcissa is Bellatrix's sister.) This is assuming that Bellatrix is Diana's mother. Even so, the books say that most 'pureblood' families are related to each other.

This is a great story. Please keep it up! yes




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