Post Work in Progress for Peer Review


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 5 posts ] Average score:  
Author Message
 My prison bars

Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:05 pm
Posts: 858
Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:18 pm
I first remember being self-conscience about my weight when I was seven years old. It was third grade, and I was eating lunch like every other day. I don't know what struck me, but I had the sudden urge to check the nutritional fats. There were probably five grams of fat in my entire lunch, and I couldn't bear it.

I had seen the models on TV, they were gorgeous! Thin and beautiful, every girl's dream. I thought that I should look like those models.

My young, gullible mind led me into one of the biggest pitfalls of my life. I would count the calories on all my meals and such. I would exercise non-stop.

Then, in fifth grade, it got worse. I started putting myself down. Now,  I not only wanted to look like the models, but I would put myself down for not being like them.

I would pull at the skin on my arm, imagining huge flabs of fat. Some of my friends would ask what I was doing, and I'd always say the same answer.I answered that I was scratching or pretending I was made of elastic.

The truth was, I thought they would be disgusted if they found out how fat I was. I was worried they would think that I was fat and worthless for not being like the supermodels.

It was in fifth grade that I started limiting what I could eat, I tried to eat extremely low fat items and didn't eat junk food. Period.

Entering sixth grade, the problem got worse. I started bring an apple for lunch. One apple. I'd look at girls who had a smaller frame than me and think 'You fatty! Why can't you look like them?'Even though I could never be as thin as them due to my skeletal structure, I would badger myself for not being as small.

I would see these girls eating ice cream at lunch and think,'They can eat when you can't! Try harder to get skinny!'

Finally, I entered 7th grade. I have recently stopped bringing lunch at all, and have cut out as much fat as possible from my diet. I'm now getting about a gram and a half of fat each day, and still don't think I'm thin enough.

Everyone assures me that I'm thin, but how can I believe them when I look in the mirror and see that bulging belly and those meaty legs that my mind has conjured up and pasted over the real me?

This is a really personal memoir for me, but I'm writing it because I want people to know what it's like to starve yourself. I want them to know that even if they are overweight, my lifestyle is not the choice to take. This is meant to be a heartfelt warning to those of you who might start thinking like I did in third grade. I hope you liked my memoir, and thanks for listening. Peace out guys.

 Re: My prison bars

Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2008 5:37 pm
Posts: 818
Sun Jan 24, 2010 5:31 pm
Oh dear...

 Re: My prison bars

Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 7216
Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:31 pm
Maddy, darling, how far you've come since this point... :]



 Re: My prison bars

Joined: Sun May 26, 2013 7:57 pm
Posts: 2
Sun May 26, 2013 8:14 pm
well what does prison bars mean in what way do you want me to say it if you just can tell thin you will get your awswer to your question.

 Re: My prison bars

Joined: Thu Jun 06, 2013 7:00 pm
Posts: 24
Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:34 pm
I have the same problem. But actually it's not a problem. I usually think that it's all in the delivery. I have meaty legs just like my mom. That is because she gave birth to me . Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. What I am telling you is everyone has feelings. So if someone is teasing you ignore. Say that I am very thankful for who I am and nobody is going to get in my way; and if they shrug like the don't care, don't feel bad. Be happy for who you are. Now I am not saying that you can't stay fit and healthy but don't always push yourself that hard like you want to be one of those superstars and stuff like that. Cause when you get sad about this kind of stuff, it's nonsense. Don't let people tease you. If it goes on for a long time, get ready to tell and adult. God has put you in the world to be happy, not to be sad. I hope my word of advice takes you to another level to learn that you just got to let this feeling fly away because you are very special . So never forget that. :-)

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
   [ 5 posts ] Average score:  

PRS © 2008 PRS Team