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   [ 11 posts ] Average score:  

Where should the story go from here?
Poll ended at Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:10 pm
an adventure to find her family 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
a survival on her own 100%  100%  [ 2 ]
a love story 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 2
Author Message
 My work in progress
new

Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2013 1:22 am
Posts: 2
Thu May 23, 2013 9:10 pm
I was sitting by my window looking at what would have been my garden. Last year, it was beautiful. With flowers and vegetables, it was wonderful. Mom would have me helping her cook the vegetables for dinner. She had promised that it would have been mine. Dad didn’t understand. In his eyes it was just wasted land; in my eyes it was a whole different world, a world that only Mom and I were welcome. Even little Lily wasn’t allowed. Mom always said it was our special place. One day, Mom let her in the garden and I refused to step in there. Lily never went back in. Now, I have no idea where she is. Nor her or my brothers, Luke and Levi, are still here. I was the only one left with Dad. Lily and the others went with Mom to different states. They sometimes write me letters, but Dad hardly ever lets me have them. He says that I don’t need to remember what we don’t have.



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Tue Aug 13, 2013 7:26 pm
Posts: 5
Tue Aug 13, 2013 7:55 pm
i love it i can really feel the girls sadness. you need to be an arthour.



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:06 am
Posts: 2
Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:43 pm
I like it i think she should adventure to find her family



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:31 pm
Posts: 2
Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:35 pm
Good start! i like how you describe the girls conection with her mom, so she;s even more upset that her family is gone



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 7:49 pm
Posts: 12
Wed Sep 11, 2013 2:13 am
Duh. LOVE STORY



 Re: My work in progress
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:45 am
Posts: 491
Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:03 pm
Nice. I think it's fit for an adventure.



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:12 pm
Posts: 5
Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:44 pm
Awesome start! I crave more.



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 7:49 pm
Posts: 12
Sat Sep 21, 2013 8:37 pm
You need to keep writing this story!



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:11 am
Posts: 7
Mon Oct 14, 2013 12:46 am
If Lily is lost, how did she move with her mom? Did her mom know where she was? If so, then how is she lost? Overall, I'd give it a 9 out of 10 at best.



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:20 pm
Posts: 4
Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:04 pm
SURVIVAL ON HER OWN You're a really good writer!



 Re: My work in progress
new

Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:33 pm
Posts: 12
Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:00 pm
An adventure to find her family for sure. Keep writing!



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