Good work so far.
A few suggestions, you may want to have more dialogue before The Arch falls. If I were watching this on stage, there would have been a little over 45 seconds of dialogue before things start to blow up. Also, explain why she wanted to go to NYC. Where is her dad? Why did they come to see the Arch? What is the Arch? Work all this into dialogue, not parenthesis . Also, try and have them mention the arch before it falls. Its for-shadowing, and it allows readers to have a reason to "see it".
Otherwise, it was supper emotional, I really like you plot summary too!!!
I'm of to read the rest (is there more? I don't know...)
Oh! Could you take a look at The Drama Of Shakespeare School?
I would be ever in your debt.