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 New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:59 am
Posts: 593
Sun Jan 22, 2012 12:15 am

I'm trying to write different types of stories. This year I'm going for Science Fiction,Fantasy and Romance. I'm working on two stories, not on the boards, but I decided to write stories on the boards too. To see if I'm any good at them. (lol)
This is my story idea:
It's set in a 1800/futuristic alternate unaverse. A girl, just moving to a new town, falls in love. The story's called: "Lillyana Love story."

Here's part one:
  I sat on the hoverbus, sighing my life away. I just turned 14, why did my parents have to ruin my life?! I started sighing again. This new town looked weird. My old town was all 2000. This looked like Startrek and...I don't even know what, thrown together! As the bus came to a stop, I grabbed my bags and Jumped off of it. My mom was already there.
"Look how great this place is!"
"Yeah, great!" I tried to act happy. I walked into the house.
"Your room is the second door. Your dad will be getting home soon, so I'll make dinner." Home? This wasn't home. I walked into my room. It had an old teloscope and a few old boxes. It had a closet. It had a bed. It had a big window that had a porch. It was normal. I threw my self onto the bed. A cloud of dust came flying up.
      I got up the next morning coughing and tired. I had to go to school, unlike my old town where I studied at home, so I had to get up earlier than normal. I got dress, brushed my hair and teeth. I ate brekfast, grabbed my bag and was out the door. The town looked fairly normal. I guess only some of it was 1800 style. Nobody was on the streets except me. Am I early? I shrugged and walked into the school. I found my class, and barged in. The teacher was in the middle of a lessson.
"Nice of you to finally come Miss. Lillyana. School starts at 7:45." I looked at the clock. It was 8:30. Some kids snicerred in the back of the room. I heard one girl mumble, "Is she wearing pants?!" I looked around the room and realized that all the girls were wearing dresses. All the boys had on suit-type outfits and some had hats. I felt my face begin to blush as I sat down. "Goodbye children!" Right when I sat down all the kids rushed up. I slowly started to get up. "Oh, Ben and Lillyana. Can I talk to you for a moment." I winced. Was she going to hit me with a ruler? "Ben, would you mind showing Lillyana around. All the other kids rushed off straight away." The boy nodded. He had dark brown hair. It was curly. His eyes were almost black. I smiled. He just nodded again and started to walk off. 
"How's that for friendly?" I murmered.
         End of part one.

Please tell me if you like it!

 Re: New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 9:14 pm
Posts: 1714
Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:32 pm


I got your message about posting this piece, though it should really be on the Sci-Fi/Fantasy boards. 

Normally, I would just move it over there to the Post Work In Progress boards, but this new platform doesn't have that feature. I think the best thing is for you to repost on those boards. 

But, This is a good opportunity to warn you never to use the boards as your only source for your work. Lots of writers have started great stories on WI and had their computers crash, or our system mysteriously eat their posts or some other tragedy. Always type your work on another application (email, Word etc) or write it down on paper before posting it here so that you have a backup of your work. 

So, disaster avoided! Head on over to Sci-Fi/Fantasy PWIPFPR boards and post away!


Write It Mod

 Re: New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:59 am
Posts: 593
Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:59 pm


 Re: New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 24
Sun Mar 17, 2013 9:50 pm
Love it keep on writing

 Re: New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:44 pm
Posts: 3
Sat Mar 30, 2013 4:07 pm
It was okay. Try to have spell check on because there were a few spelling mistakes. Also, do not have the teacher's name and the new girl's name to be the same because it was a little confusing. And last,do not repeat ideas. Overall it was good not excellent but good.

 Re: New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:44 pm
Posts: 82
Sat Apr 13, 2013 2:38 pm
that was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

 Re: New romance story: Lillyana love story.

Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:45 pm
Posts: 22
Fri Jan 09, 2015 5:52 pm

it is really good post the rest

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