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   [ 5 posts ] Average score:  

Would you read this?
Poll ended at Mon Apr 11, 2016 4:55 pm
Totally, Sounds cool! Totally, Sounds cool! 100%  100%  [ 1 ]
Sure, I might Sure, I might 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
OK, I guess OK, I guess 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Well, probably not Well, probably not 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No way! No way! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 1
Author Message
 P. W., sneak peek plus poll for would you read it
new

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 1:36 am
Posts: 92
Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:55 pm

The train ride had been so cramed I thought I would explode, also considering that James was right next to me, and had four boxes of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, six Pumpkin Pasties, three chocolate frogs (Plus the, oh what a hog, cards inside) and then shouved the wrappers in my face, saying, "Hey Albus, I bet you really regret deciding to leave your Galleons and Sickles with Mum and Dad!" He then through the wrappers on the floor next to my feet, laughed and said "Well? Pick them up"! Then went back to what he was doing before, having a wizard's chess game with Polkley Finnigan.

   "Their your stomach ache providers", I mumbled, "You pick them up". Before James could turn to slap me the train screeched to a stop, and students started to file through the the train, getting James lost in it. Thank goodness.

Please select a poll below. The right collum is for, well, you people know how to do this, and the left collum is for what you honestly think! Thanks! I also take consturtcive critisisum! 




 Re: P. W., sneak peek plus poll for would you read it
regular_contributor

Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 5:17 pm
Posts: 7691
Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:37 pm

you're really good at this, I like it. Keep it up.




 Re: P. W., sneak peek plus poll for would you read it
new

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 1:36 am
Posts: 92
Sat Apr 30, 2016 2:32 am

@technologygirl Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you liked it.

I guess this chapter didn't make it through before, so I hope it does this time! laugh

        Chapter 1: Creative Transportation 

     I stared out the fogged - up window, waiting for James and his friends to be gone. To be honest, even though all older brothers make fun of their younger brothers, I just didn't feel close to James at all. I mean, I played with Rose and Hugo more often than my own siblings, or Teddy, for that matter. (Though I have an idea of what he does in his spare time.) 

      I heard a few more footsteps, shuffling out the door, laughing and chasing eachother. I waited a bit longer, until Rose entered my compartment, lugging her things behind her. 

    "Is James gone?" You see, Rose gets it. She knows about what happens between me and James. I don't know how, but I don't try to conceal it from her either. I need someone to talk to. 

     She sat right next to me, then asked "Albus, where are you're things"? Oh right. Better show her that, too.

     "I've been practicing from the Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1." I replied, grinning. Then, mumbling a simple charm, a big, giant garbage bag full of things appeared in front of me. I don't have enough time to worry about class, ok? Don't judge.

      "A garbage bag? Really?" Rose giggled, then realized that I just did a charm that we haven't even learned yet. Before she could say anything though, I saw her glance towards the window, and her face lit up. 

   "Where is everyone?" She mumbled. "Albus, there's nobody there, not even Hagrid". I frowned, and ran down the train's hallway. When I got out, with Rose behind me, I saw she was right. We both ran around the platform, failing our arms and yelling for someone to come and help us. Probably not the smartest choice if other people were watching. Rose turned to me and stared after about ten minutes of non stop yelling.

    "Well then, we need to get there somehow". She smiled. "And you're not the only one that knows impressive spells." I heard her mumble "Aquamenti" under her breath and, right away, screamed, from we were high off the ground, on a stream of water, flowing right to Hogwarts. Not to mention, I was afraid of heights. But I was even more afraid for the safety of Rose and the rest of the school.  So I put up with it.

 

 




 Re: P. W., sneak peek plus poll for would you read it
new

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 1:36 am
Posts: 92
Sat Apr 30, 2016 2:32 am

@technologygirl Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you liked it.

I guess this chapter didn't make it through before, so I hope it does this time! laugh

        Chapter 1: Creative Transportation 

     I stared out the fogged - up window, waiting for James and his friends to be gone. To be honest, even though all older brothers make fun of their younger brothers, I just didn't feel close to James at all. I mean, I played with Rose and Hugo more often than my own siblings, or Teddy, for that matter. (Though I have an idea of what he does in his spare time.) 

      I heard a few more footsteps, shuffling out the door, laughing and chasing eachother. I waited a bit longer, until Rose entered my compartment, lugging her things behind her. 

    "Is James gone?" You see, Rose gets it. She knows about what happens between me and James. I don't know how, but I don't try to conceal it from her either. I need someone to talk to. 

     She sat right next to me, then asked "Albus, where are you're things"? Oh right. Better show her that, too.

     "I've been practicing from the Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1." I replied, grinning. Then, mumbling a simple charm, a big, giant garbage bag full of things appeared in front of me. I don't have enough time to worry about class, ok? Don't judge.

      "A garbage bag? Really?" Rose giggled, then realized that I just did a charm that we haven't even learned yet. Before she could say anything though, I saw her glance towards the window, and her face lit up. 

   "Where is everyone?" She mumbled. "Albus, there's nobody there, not even Hagrid". I frowned, and ran down the train's hallway. When I got out, with Rose behind me, I saw she was right. We both ran around the platform, failing our arms and yelling for someone to come and help us. Probably not the smartest choice if other people were watching. Rose turned to me and stared after about ten minutes of non stop yelling.

    "Well then, we need to get there somehow". She smiled. "And you're not the only one that knows impressive spells." I heard her mumble "Aquamenti" under her breath and, right away, screamed, from we were high off the ground, on a stream of water, flowing right to Hogwarts. Not to mention, I was afraid of heights. But I was even more afraid for the safety of Rose and the rest of the school.  So I put up with it.

 

 




 Re: P. W., sneak peek plus poll for would you read it
new

Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am
Posts: 39
Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:14 pm

I can infer that the narrator does not like James. Am I right?




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