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 Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows

Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:02 pm
Posts: 6
Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:07 pm

Where the green grass grows


By: Rachael


 


Chapter One


The feeling of peace


 


Rain beating down harder and harder on my face the faster and faster I run. So faster and faster and faster I run. I can’t keep up with my breathing and I stop. I fall and let the rain hit me full on. On my back I close my eyes as the rain pours on me. I love the smell of rain. I am soaked now but it doesn’t matter. I am gone. I am Five miles past town now right on the border of Texas and Okalahoma.


I just lay there eyes closed listening to the rain, getting wetter and wetter. Listening to the sound of silence, silence except for the rain. No cars driving by in the middle of the night. The sound and the feeling of rain on my skin makes me calm. My heart beat slows and I start to drift finally able to relax away from the yelling and the lights. Away from tears and pain. Away from all the hate the city holds. The quiet sound of rain and nothing else matters. Completely wet on the side of the road I sleep.



Chapter Two


The calm after the storm


 


     I wake around two in the morning. The rain had slowed but is still going. I wake and breathe in so slowly and so deeply. For the first time in a while I slept and not worried about anything when I woke. I am sixteen and today I became a runaway. They should start to realize I am gone so I get up still soaked but not tired and not cold. My peace seems to warm me. I walk on making it past the Texas/Okalahoma border knowing I need to move on before I get found. Because the world says I am not safe as a runaway but I feel I am not happy at home.


I have finally broken free, free from them. I will not return to school. I am smarter than my grade so I can just work from A library at each town I stop at. I have two hundred and fifty dollars. I will make more. But for now I don’t worry about that I worry only about me. I am at peace today; I will let nothing bring me down. Not today.

Message Edited by Write_It_Moderator on 01-17-2008 01:21 PM




 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
contributor

Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:02 pm
Posts: 958
Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:45 am
Very good! I like your descriptions of the rain. I think Chapter 1 should be an epilogue, and Chapter 2 would be Chapter 1.
 
But otherwise it's very very good.
 
Tchao,
magic*esi
 
P.S. Tchao is French, Ciao is Italian. I thought that was interesting when I learned it!



 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
contributor

Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:02 pm
Posts: 958
Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:42 pm
 Sorry, prologue! I liked it a lot! so post more... i can't wait to find out what happens! It sounds like poetry at the beginning and it's like one of those poem-books, like Yellow Star or Love that Dog.
 
magic*esi



 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:32 pm
Posts: 497
Wed Feb 13, 2008 7:09 pm
I agree with magic*esi about the prologue stuff,but it's still great!Keep posting!!!



 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
regular_visitor

Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:30 pm
Posts: 189
Tue Apr 22, 2008 10:34 pm
I'd love to hear more, but could you write it smaller? The largeness of the print hurt my eyes.
                                 Miss X
*I thought you lived at a school*



 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows

Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 12:09 pm
Posts: 9
Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:29 am
that is very good! keep on writing!
~IluvTaylorSwift~ :smileyhappy:

 




 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
rookie_visitor

Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 4:36 pm
Posts: 10
Tue Sep 06, 2011 5:09 pm
cool. post more chapters.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
             peace out.



 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
visitor

Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:58 pm
Posts: 78
Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:52 pm

that sounds alot like the book/movie"Where the red fern grows" It made me cry, both book&movie.




 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
visitor

Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 10:23 pm
Posts: 123
Sat May 19, 2012 9:55 pm
I think it is wonderful and interesting!! Except in the beginging of the story you kind of wrote the word rain too many times. Good job, though! :)



 Re: Please comment on this Where The Green Grass Grows
new

Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:08 pm
Posts: 4
Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:20 pm
Wow Rachael! That is amazing! Your descriptions and thoughts really create a wonderful story! P.S I love your title! It's very intriguing :)



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