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 Please read I NEED feedback

Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:48 pm
Posts: 17
Tue Mar 17, 2015 11:24 pm

I love to write and hope you all love it. I will post more wink don't worry!



Lost In Wonderland!

Chapter One:

What could happen?


I walked out of Willow Creek school with my younger brother. School was officially over! Goodbye school, Hellooo, summer.

"Melissa, race you home!" my brother, Connor cries, and takes off running.

I took off running, with him still feet away. He usually beats me-only because I let him win. We finally get home, to find a package on the porch. It sat there as if waiting to be unopened. I look at the return address and smile.

"It's a package from Grandma." I grin. I may be in 10th grade, but who doesn't love their grandma.

I open it and pull out a golden book. The whole book was gold. I turned to a page with a dark, green dragon on it. I suddenly heard a ROAR. Gulp.

I turned to Connor .

"Tell.... Tell me that wasn't a dragon" I whispered, my face as white as a pale cloud.

"It was" He replied.

Then I hear another noise. We both get sucked into the enchanted book. I wake up, my head throbbing. Ouch. I look around. It's... It's beautiful. I look under me. It's grass, but it's.... it's pink.

"Where are we?" I ask.

" In the enchanted, Wonderland, of course. Come, come I tell you more." A daisy smiles.

Connor stares at me and I shrug. We willingly followed.


 Re: Please read I NEED feedback

Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:48 pm
Posts: 17
Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:18 pm


Hey! Here's some more. I will be adding more every chance I get. angel






            We walk through the town and I overhear some talk about someone called   The evil one.

            “Rainbow tea?” The daisy offers.

            “Sure” I mumble.

            I fake smile. The rainbow tea is really vinegary and hot. I try not to spit it out. My brother looks at me.

            “Do we have to eat this?” he mouths.

            “Yes.” I mouth back.

            The daisy looks at us like we are sprouting wings and are clucking. I smile.

            “So, I overheard two of the villagers talking about someone called the evil one. Who is that?” I ask, finally finding my voice.

            “The evil one?” She asks in a hushed tone. “She is an evil fairy. She captures people and forces them to work. We have a TGFC. That stands for The Good Fairy Council. The Good Fairy Council consists of Livvie, Leah, Paige, Mariana, Lilly, Avery, Jenna, Faith, May, June and Eve. They have tried to fight her, but we can’t risk anyone. Come, I’ll take you to them” The daisy responds.

             We follow. Time to learn more.




Smile. You R AWESOME!!!!!!!


 Re: Please read I NEED feedback

Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:48 pm
Posts: 17
Sun Mar 22, 2015 9:44 pm

Please reply. smiley



"I may not be perfect, but at least I can try to be" Me

 Re: Please read I NEED feedback

Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 11:05 pm
Posts: 66
Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:19 am

Hey!!! The book sounds interesting!!! Mabye i will see if the library has it. i will let u know if i like it or not

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