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   [ 3 posts ] Average score:  

What should I do with this?
Throw it away! <br> 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Rewrite it. <br> 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
It's all right. <br> 60%  60%  [ 3 ]
Put it in a contest! <br> 40%  40%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 5
Author Message
 poem
new

Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:06 pm
Posts: 278
Thu Mar 07, 2013 7:55 pm
Gasp
Legs pumping,
run, fast, faster-
shake off my escort,
run the other way.
My lungs screaming,
I take short breaths,
concentrate
on getting to my target.
There is nothing else in my mind.
I turn,
yell.
Someone jumps in front of me,
I dodge
and watch the brown,
torpedo-like ball
speed toward me.
I start
to run backwards,
tripping over
my own feet as I go.
I won’t make it-
I leap- reach,
higher,
higher- my fingers brush the raw,
rough pigskin.
I fall back to earth.
The ball bounces away.
What do you think?



 Re: poem
moderator

Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 9:14 pm
Posts: 1714
Sun Mar 17, 2013 6:32 pm
Hi dragonrider49, Thanks for posting to the Poetry boards and for coding your submission! Doubly great!! I just wanted to let you know that two things: 1.) work you're posting to get feedback on should be posted to the Post Work In Progress for Peer Review instead of General Discussion and 2.) I've been asking people to put CODED in the subject lines of their posts if they've put in the HTML so that I know to open it and read it... Once the text editor is fixed, that won't be an issue. Thanks again for posting and see you around the boards! -Write It Mod



 Re: poem
new

Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:06 pm
Posts: 278
Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:26 pm
Right. Sorry, I'll put the poems in the pwipfpr board... later!



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