Post Work in Progress for Peer Review

Announcements


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  
Author Message
 Poetry Picking
new

Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 4:23 am
Posts: 9
Tue Mar 01, 2016 4:33 am

I am hoping to improve the following poems. They are probably terrible. For now I simply need to pick three favorites.

 

Sisters

Annoying at times,

Even more so at others.

All sisters remember the time,

Or rather times,

They asked their mothers,

Can they be returned?

 

Only they are non-refundable,

Or you’re a package deal.

But who would want them back?

On the days you wonder what if you never had one at all,

Just remember it could have been worse.

You could have had a brother.

 

Words of the People

Pen dancing,

across the page,

ink flowing,

words forming,

on the page,

the page before us.


Words long,

words short,

words of all,

shapes and types,

on the page,

the page before us.


Different meanings,

different letters,

some alike,

but none the same,

on the page,

the page before us.


Words for every person,

but not a person for every word,

together writing a message,

read and heard by all,

onto the page,

the page just before us.

 

School

This will be the year I succeed,

that everything will be perfect.

But alas, that is not to be,

for is school really worth it?


Why spend your time doing math,

when you can be fighting dragons.

Why spend your time conjugating verbs,

when you can be doing magic?


Such thoughts are those of mere amusement,

such ideas are simply daft!

But is exploring space not discovering new lands,

is chemistry not close to witchcraft?


The root of these things what you learn everyday,

what your teachers try to teach you.

Ask yourself now, or hold your peace,

what is it that you wish to do?

 

A School Year

In the month of August,

there are new notebooks, new faces,

New pencils, new places.

 

In the month of September,

excitement begins to fade,

homework a burden none can evade.

 

In the month of October,

the first month of fall,

you can be a ghost, a vampire, or even Belle of the ball.

 

In the month of November,

there are many reasons to be grateful,

such as to have survived long enough to eat plateful after plateful.

 

In month of December,

there is cause for celebration of the new year,

but winter break is another reason to cheer.

 

In the month of January,

hope fills the air,

the start of a new semester and old worksheets to tear.

 

In the month of February,

more than half over, the school year proceeds,

filled with essays and stories and interesting leads.

 

In the month of March,

spring flowers are finally blooming,

and once distant due dates are ominously looming.

 

In the month of April,

the end of school is cause to be excited,

from teachers to students, all are delighted.

 

In the month of May,

school is coming to an end,

lost teachers, lost knowledge, and of course lost friends.

 

Shop Windows of the Soul

The eyes are the windows of the soul,

the shop windows of the soul.

Window displays ever shifting,

window displays ever changing.

Always showing you what you “need” when they want to,

the same eyes that plead when they want to.

The same eyes that can cry when they want to,

can be the same ones saying good bye when they want to.

 

Open the door,

look behind that shop window.

Look at what has been shoved to the back,

never to be on display.

You must look at the bad things,

just as you must look at the sad things.

Take notice of the old things,

and of course the never sold things.

 

Look at what is behind that shop window,

before you buy based on what’s on display.

There is more depth to that shop than the things in the windows,

for there are no windows leading to its heart or soul.

You might think you see yourself through that window,

but it might just be its surface.

Look behind that shop window for what is real,

 

if you don’t you’ll soon realize who got the better deal.

 

 
 
 
I know they need A LOT of work. They pale in comparison to the works of most other poets. I just need feedback and the top three you think are the best. Thank you. Really. For simply reading this far...

 




Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  


PRS © 2008 PRS Team