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 Poison of arcarmaria chapter one. (please comment and tell how i can change it)

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 2:46 am
Posts: 133
Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:46 pm

       Poison of Arcarmaria


Shadowed sun


Chapter One: sneaking out


            It was a hot, dry night in Phoenix, Arizona.  Princess Arcarmaria Luanda went on a little nighttime stroll her parents never approved of.  Arcarmaria has sun kissed skin, hot pink lips, long, brown hair, and ocean blue eyes.  Arcarmaria’s silky, white dress flowed, gracefully in the wind.  To the outer people, people on the outer core, she was just a regular kid in street clothes.   

            You see Arcarmaria isn’t a regular girl.  She is a Laramonderite from the land of            

Laramondernine.  You may not know about it, because it is a land below your feet.  It is right under the subway system.  You may also wonder why none of the outer people has ever seen it.  It is because it’s covered by the hardest rock known to man, the diamond.  The Laramonderites hand painted the diamonds the shade of brown just like rocks, because the Laramonderites were very greedy even Arcarmaria, though she wasn’t as greedy.  They didn’t want anyone to steal their diamonds, let alone see their city. 

            .  She looked at her watch, it was only ten minutes until her curfew, “Oh no!  What shall my parents say when they find out I have left house without them knowing!” she ran to the nearest subway system, tripped down a flight of stair, went past security, and ran to the oldest, run down subway there was.

 “It looks like a toilet,” Arcarmaria said then pretended to gag.  Then she entered in to find a pile of bones from a skeleton, “Ahh!” she step sided the skeleton, and then gagged a little more.

“How am I supposed to find Barry in this pigsty?” Barry was the person her dad hired to guard the diamond layout.

 There was a thump, a thud, and a crack.  The skeleton started to shake then stopped.  It’s head started to sprout up hair and skin started appearing on it’s face.  Five seconds later an eighteen-year-old boy took the place of the skeleton.  “Barry Skeletalanor at your service milady,” he said with a smirk.  Barry had jet-black hair, deep green eyes, and pale white skin.

“Oh, you’re the kid my dad hired to guard these beautiful diamonds.”

“And what’s that suppose to mean?”

“Well you are a child!  And I do not think my father can trust a child!”

“Speak for yourself, missy.  You’re only twelve.”

“I am almost thirteen.  In five days I will legally be thirteen.”

“Okay, okay, sit down in a chair and fasten your seatbelt.  It’s a fast ride from here to your house.”

“Drop me off right in my room, not my parents’ room.  They said they would give me a double beating if I were to sneak out again.”

“Yeah, your dad said he would behead me again if I helped you sneak out.”

“How would he know I would sneak out?  Wait how did he know that you would help me?”

“Your dad is very protective.”

“Okay, start this hunk of junk already!”

“Fine, Ms. Impatient!” He pulled a pair of golden keys out of his shirt pocket, the stuck then into the key hole.  There was a thump, thud, then a clunk, “Sorry, I forgot to oil the hinges on this thing.”

“You know, princesses are supposed to ride in carriages made from gold, not toilets made from trash.  I expect you to have it clean by the time I come back here.”

“Well, do you know, being a pile of bones takes all the life out of you.  Oh, I just made a joke!” He started to laugh at his own joke.

“I do not quite get it.” Arcarmaria looked down at her watch.  It was 6 minutes until curfew, “Start this subway!”

“Okay, I’m starting it!  By the way, this subway has a name.  It’s called the “Red Bullet”.  It is the fastest type of transportation there is.  And because if you take a look at Little Red here, it’s blood red.”

“Start the subway!”

“Okay!” He pressed the gas as hard as he could then they were off.  They were going so fast that anyone within a ten-mile range would have been blown back at least another ten-mile.

“Can you make it go any fast?”

“If I go any faster we’ll both turn into roasted human!  That might sound delicious, but it’s really nasty.”

“How would you know?”

“Well, when I turn into a skeleton, the skin goes away by sinking down my throat, then-,” he took a deep breath.

Arcarmaria cut him short, “I don’t want to know the rest.”

Red Bullet was slowing to a halt.  Arcarmaria looked out the window to see her room.  “That was the fastest automobile I have ever ridden!” Arcarmaria said excitedly.

“Yeah, it’s pretty fast isn’t it?  It’s really awesome when you get past the barfing feeling.”

“Uhh, how-,” Arcarmaria was trying to find a better thing to say than, Ugh, how disgusting of you! “interesting?”

Barry and Arcarmaria got out of Red Bullet at the same time like Siamese twins, except they weren’t in the same family and they didn’t look alike and they had absolute different personalities. 

“Arcarmaria!” her father yelled, “Turn off your lights!”

“Ahh!” Arcarmaria screamed, “Dad is going to be here in a few minutes!”

“Ok, so happy birthday!”

“My birthday is tomorrow.  Why not tell me then?”

“I thought you might not invite be.  You know, being a skeleton and all.”

“Not true.  You are my friend.  Of course I will invite you.”

Barry sighed, “You’re a good friend.  I can tell that we’re going to be great buds.”

“What’s a bud?”

“Do your parents really keep you away from the outer layer that much?”

“No!” Arcarmaria yelled a little agitated.

“Did they know that you snuck out today?”

“No.” Arcarmaria whispered, “Anyways, I asked you one thing and one thing only!  What is a Bud?”

“Buddy?  B.F.F.?  No? Okay, I’ll tell you.  It’s a friend.”

“Oh. Okay.  Now leave!  Father will be very upset if he found out that I snuck out!” Arcarmaria pushed Barry into Red Bullet like a rag doll.

“Okay, bye!” he stepped on the gas then Barry and the subway were gone.

“Arcarmaria?  You had better be in bed now!”

“I am, Father!” she jumped into bed dress and shoes in all.

Her father entered in with a smile on his face.  He was looked completely different than Arcarmaria.  He had a scruffy, black beard, black hair, and chocolate, brown eyes.  His personality on the other hand was exactly the same as Arcarmaria’s.

A second later her mother walked in. “What are you two doing up this late?  It’s 12:03.  And I said that you two should be in bed by at least 12:00!” Arcarmaria’s mother looked exactly the same as Arcarmaria but her personality was so different you wouldn’t be able to tell they weren’t related.

“Mother I will go to bed once you two get out of my bed room!” Arcarmaria whined.

“Okay, but you need to rest up for your birthday bash tomorrow!” said her mother excitedly.

“Your mother is right, ‘Ria” her father said gently.
            “Okay, but please leave.”

“That is no way to talk to-,” but Arcarmaria’s mother was cut short and pushed out of the room by Arcarmaria’s father.

“Good night, honey,” Arcarmaria’s father smiled and winked at her.

“Good night-,” Arcarmaria said thinking something over, “dad.”

That caught her father off guard.  Usually all Arcarmaria calls him is “Father”, “Papa”, or “Master”.  She felt like this was almost the last time she would see him.  “Oh, uhh, okay.” 

If this seems to plagiarize or seems boring or anything please tell me!
















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