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Author Message
 Needs name suggestions. (PLEASE!?!)

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 12:23 am
Posts: 18
Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:10 pm

        Hi, I'm new this board. Can everyone please give me critiques?  I'm so amazed that I found this board! It's like something out of a dream! Thanks everyone!







“SIR! SIR!” A boy in a blue tunic and silver pants races across the floors of the library towards a middle aged man in blue and bronze swirled robes, not even bothering to keep his voice down. He stops in front of the robed man and collapses, panting. 

The man hefts him onto a chair, asking, “What in the world is going on?”, highly concerned. 

“A-a scroll.” (Hack. Wheeze.) “With a b-black,” (Cough.), “ Seal.” Then the boy blacks out. Every head in the vicinity turns when the words ‘black seal’ are uttered. Even with the crises going on, the man wakes up the boy and gives him a glass of water to drink, taking the creamy, paper scroll from his hand. He reads through it quickly, yet thoroughly. 

Then he asks the boy kindly, “Isaac. Are you well enough to come with me? We won’t be running this time.” 

The boy stares at him and asks, “How did you know my name?”

The man smiles and says, “I’ve been watching you for a long time, and I think you’re the best fitted for an extremely important mission. What do you think?” The boy’s eyes glow as he nods. “Good. Now, if you’ll just stand up and hold my hand.” The boy does as he’s told. Then they vanish into thin air.






CHAPTER ONE: IT’S WHO WE ARE.     A girl is walking home from school. No, not home. More like prison. All the other kids at her school avoided her. Any time someone asked if they could sit with her, she glared at them icily before turning back to her food and ignoring them. All the students, and even the teachers, thought she was either hiding something BIG, or was cursed. She arrives at a two story brick house. We see her take a deep breath. She walks up the stairs. When she gets inside, she hears her foster parents, the Pepras, arguing. In a few long strides, she’s in the room she sleeps in. The tired teenager dumps her black backpack on her quilted bedspread. Then she locks her door and closed the plain black curtains, flooding the room with darkness. She takes her school books out of her bag and shoves them in a dresser drawer. She grabbed what clothes she owned. All different shades of black and gray. She grabbed two books and put them and a knife and knife-sharpener in with the clothes. The shouting settled down slowly, then thumping in the next room. Soon she hears a rumble. The Pepras are asleep. She opens the curtains, waiting for the stars to appear. The tall girl ran her fingers through her brown, caramel streaked, locks, staring at the beautiful sunset with stony hazel eyes. Soon the stars came out, then, thanking all gods that she was on ground level (I think the Pepra’s did that purposely), she climbed out the window and jumped a low fence and ran for all she was worth.



A boy was sitting in a dark, musty, flooded basement. The water comes up to his chest. His stepfather, a fat alcohol addict who smells like rotting,moldy pork soaked in toilet water and wrapped in gym shorts that haven’t been washed for a year, had made him. He stood. Water rolled off his clothes. His stepfather was out again. He went up to his tiny attic bedroom, he rummaged through a tote next to his nest of blankets that served as his bed. He changed into a dark green hoodie and dark jeans, then ran a comb through his dirty blond hair. Thinking all the while about the poor plants that would suffer at school. He was hired by the janitor to water them. He also cared for them like they were humans or animals, so that made him a freak. He grabbed his duffel bag and went down the ladder to the living room. He went to the front of the house and stooped to pick up a large rock and after the uneasy teenager looked with deep blue eyes to see if anyone was watching, then he heaved the rock at the window and was running before it even made contact.



A boy’s mother folded his shirts, and put them in her boy’s rucksack, along with A knife, plant identification book, money, and a few blankets. She and his father were sending him out to live on his own. Claiming it was an initiation into his family to survive his fourteenth year on his own. He knew better. They were trying to get rid of him earlier than sixteen. He didn’t think he would even bother to come back. He grabbed his bag and walked right out the front door without even saying goodbye. 


Now the three teenagers were walking for the night. At daybreak they melted into the shadows of various forests to rest during the day. The sun flew through the sky and it was soon evening. The girl woke to the sound of mourning doves cooing. She sat up and reached into her bag and pulled out a bag of chocolate chip muffins. She took one out and started munching. She was trying to decide which direction she wanted to go. She finally set herself on a course due west. She stood up, brushed the crumbs off her jeans, looked to where the sunset was, and started walk that way.


Both boys woke up at about the same time. They ate, and then just started randomly walking. 


The girl knew she couldn’t just walk all the way west, so she started to look for some train tracks. When she found them she walked along it for a mile and a half before she found train cars. The car three in from the last was left unlocked by whatever lazy person was supposed to padlock them. “Perfect!” she thought. Then she slide open the door enough to slip in. She shut the door firmly, then felt around to see what was in there. Turns out there was just some stacks of burlap bags and some screws sticking out from the sides of the walls. She arranged some of the bags into a nest then used a couple of others as blankets. The train’s horn sounded. Then the train car jerked and bumped into the others. Soon the ride smoothed out and lulled the sleepy teenager till she fell into a good deep sleep.


Plant boy ( as I am calling him for now until we find out his real name.) was harvesting some Dogtooth Violet bulbs to munch on while hiking to keep his strength up. He straightened up. The night sky was filling with ever darkening clouds. It didn’t look good. He hastily shoved the bulbs in a small bag hanging from his belt, and started walking at a faster pace to get hopefully a few more miles in before it started storming. What he would do for shelter, he didn’t care as long as he got plenty of space between him and his old life. As he walked he heard a whippoorwill in the distance.


The other boy was walking with his head down, letting his mind drift. He had always stayed out of his parents way, ever since he could take care of himself. His parents always went on vacation without him. They payed for a babysitter until he had turned thirteen. Then they let him do what he liked when they were gone. He could have gorged himself on junk food, but he ate fruits and vegetables, because he liked them better, most of the time. That’s what made him a weirdo. It was also because he was the smartest kid in the entire school. He always wore clothes the same colors as the walls of the school (gray). He also sat in the corner seats of the cafeteria. Now he could not worry about anything anymore. So he looked at the sky and just soaked in the silent, empty blackness.  Soon it was getting light out. He headed out of the meadow he was walking in and into the woods. He sat down and set his back on a maple tree and slept.


The girl woke up when the train shuddered to a stop. She quickly shoved her bag under a stack of bags. Then covered herself with bags. She knew that some sort of guard was going to come by sooner or later to check if someone had snuck onto the train. She just hoped that the guard wasn’t in the mood to look closely. Soon the guard did come. He slid open the door. 

“Nope, no-one. Thank goodness it’s going to storm. I’ll get to have a whole day off! Now I’ll be able to sleep in a real hotel for once. Only three more cars to go!” The guard shut the door and ran off to check the other cars. 

The girl got up, stretched, then ate an apple. She started to sharpen her knife, a favorite pastime of hers.


Soon both boys were up and walking again. Only this time… One boy heard a twig snap behind him. He whipped around. Another boy stumbled into the open with his head down. He looked up… and stumbled backward. 

“Wait! Who are you?” Plant Boy asked. 

“Doesn’t matter.” the other boy mumbled. 

“Will you tell me if you’re a runaway as well?” Plant Boy asked. The other boy nodded. “O.K., will you walk with me?” The boy nodded again. They walked in silence for quite a time. They happened to come upon the train cars. “Which direction are you headed?” Plant Boy asked. The other boy thought for a minute.

“West.” he decided. 

“If there’s an unlocked car we can hitch a ride so we’ll get some miles. We’ll be out of the storm that’s coming too.” Plant Boy said. The other boy nodded. They went from the last car up trying doors. Soon they came to the one the girl was hanging out in. “Yes! We can get in!” Said Plant Boy as the door slid open. It was pitch black as they shut it so The other boy took out a solar powered lantern and clicked it on. Next thing they knew, Plant Boy was thrown onto a sack of bags and a girl had grabbed the other boy by the collar of his jacket and had a knife pressed against his throat. 

“What do you want?” The girl demanded. Her hair was tied up into a sort of bun. She wore clothes of the darkest black, so it was easy to see how the boys didn’t see her at first.

“Who are you?” the boy she was holding asked. 

That doesn’t concern you. What concerns you is you’re going to tell me why your here so I don’t cut both your jugular veins and leave you to bleed to death.” All of this she said in a very convincing voice. 

“O.K.! We only came in here so we could hitch a ride west and stay out of the storm.”

“Fine.” She released him. “But don’t make me regret my choice. Got it?” They nodded. She snapped her pocketknife shut and clipped it to her belt. Then she grabbed some bags and made two more nests. (Far from her own.) Then she sat down, pulled a book out from her bag, started reading and ignored the boys. The day went by quickly. Plant Boy pulled out his Dogtooth Violet bulbs and offered some to the other boy. 

“They taste a little like raw lima beans.”

“Anything tastes good right now.” The girl had fallen asleep.
























                    chapter two: destiny.





They were suspended in inky darkness. They could only see each other because light was radiating off of them. Green light emitted off Connor. Red light was shining from Josh. And blue and silver light lit the girl. They looked around. They could see nothing, and they kept floating. Surprisingly, they weren’t panicking. They even felt calm. Then, three white figures appeared. 

A woman’s figure said, with a smile, “So, the prophecy is finally starting to come true.” She was shining with the same light as the girl. 

The girl asked her, “What prophecy?” 

A man’s figure answered, “It’s best if you don’t know quite yet, Taylor.” The man radiated the same light as Josh. Taylor smiled coldly. ‘So that’s the girl’s name!’ both boys thought. 

“Yes, that’s her name.” Said the last figure, a man. He was lit with the same light as Connor.  That’s when Josh and Connor realized that when Taylor had spoken, she hadn’t moved her lips at all. “Yes, all your thoughts that are thought as sayings are heard out loud. So be careful about what you think, unless you want to share something embarrassing with the other two. And you can hear each other’s thoughts because you’re minds are joined right now.” 

“Your minds are joined because you three are decedents of three powerful beings called Dragonlings. You are dragons. You have a human form most of the time though. You also have kin who are not dragons, but they are decedents from dragons. They are called Dragonfells. You will learn more from a Dragonfell who will bring you to your new world.” The woman said. “The purpose for us three are to show you your new powers and pass on the information on how to control those powers.” 

“It may make you dizzy, nauseous, and confused for a bit.” The man with Josh’s light said. “At least that’s how it was for me.”

“That may also be because you were trying to take a dare by riding a bucking griffin.” The other man said with a smirk.

“All right boys! You don’t need to spend what little time we have, arguing!” The lady said, massaging her temples. “Men.” She grumbled.Then she turned toward the teenagers and said, “We need to give you the powers soon, so do you have any more questions?” 

The boys said no, but Taylor asked, “Who are you, and will we see you again?”

The lady said, “We are the original Dragonlings. Your first ancestors.                                                                                                                                                          And you will be able to see us when you really need us. You just need to look inside. Now, we need to give you your powers. It will make you a bit dizzy, as your mind is processing it. We may meet again.” Then they all came forward and were absorbed into the teenagers’ bodies. 


The teenagers woke up all at the same time. Then they realized they were leaning on each other. They scrambled. The two boys felt fine, not even slightly dizzy. But Taylor wasn’t quite so lucky. She fell over when she tried to stand up. Josh caught her. He set her down on a bag pile. Connor kneeled next to her and felt her forehead. It was freezing cold, yet her hands were hot. It was strange. Connor ran and got a rag, then went out into the gray, misty morning. Soon he was back with a dripping rag and a handful of plants. He gave Josh the rag to wash her face and neck. 

He started to prepare the plants saying, “If only I had a fire.” 

Josh turned toward him and asked, “Why do you need a fire?” 

“If I burn these herbs, it’ll create smoke with the fumes of the plants for her to breathe so it’ll get into her system faster. But, since I don’t have fire…” 

“Who says you don’t?” Josh said with a grin. Then he held out his hand and flicked his wrist. A burst of orange flame came out of his palm. Connor’s eyes were wide and his smile even wider. “YES!” Then he slowly fed the herbs into Josh’s flame. The smoke wasn’t going towards Taylor though. But before Connor could get frustrated, Josh made some motions in the air with his free hand (Connor was washing Taylor’s face now.), and the smoke went towards Taylor. Soon, she looked better and she fell asleep. Josh made the fire and smoke disappear. Connor made sure that Taylor was comfortable and covered her with one of Josh’s blankets. Then, the two boys collapsed on another pile of burlap. They were so tired. But they rock, paper, scissored for who would stay up the first hour to watch Taylor. 

On their third round, the door opened and a boy who looked about ten years old stepped in. “Hi.” The boys got up and stepped in front of Taylor, making threatening gestures. “You don’t need to do that, Josh and Connor.” The boy said. 

The two teenagers were stunned. ‘How does he know our names?’

“I’ve been following you for a bit.” The boy explained sheepishly. “I’ve been sent on an important mission to find the new Dragonlings, and I believe you’re them.” 

Josh and Connor exchanged looks. “How do we know we can trust you?” Josh asked for both of them. 

“Unfortunately, you don’t.” Was the kid’s answer. 

“Will you tell us your name?” Was Connor’s response to that. 

“Call me Isaac.” The boy, now called Isaac said with a grin. Josh and Connor shifted, accidentally revealing a sick Taylor. Isaac’s smile faltered. “What’s wrong with the girl Dragonling?” He asked, rushing to check her. He put his auburn haired head on her stomach.  

“Her name’s Taylor, and when we got our powers she was sick. Connor got herbs to burn, and it seemed to make her better for a bit. She’s definitely not as sick as she was.” Josh told Isaac. 

“We need to get her to the hospital, and fast!” Isaac said, opening his eyes, which both boys just realized were purple

“How do we do that?! We would have to tell who we are. Then we’d be caught!” Connor asked him. 

“Not the human hospital, you nitwits! The one in Areo! Can one of you lift her?”

“I’ll do it.” said Josh. Something told him not to test this kid’s patience. 

Isaac put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. A creature flew in the door. “Razorwings, this is Josh and Connor. Josh and Connor, Razorwings.”

“Hello Razorwings.” A female voice said. Taylor was awake! “Now let me down.” She told Josh. He did as she asked, but made her lean on him. “And who are you?” She asked Isaac. 

He walked forward and bowed. Then he straightened and replied, “My name is Isaac, your Dragoness.” All the teenagers were startled. “You are very sick Taylor. We need to get you to a hospital.” He told Taylor. “Connor, could you lift her up onto Razor-“ 

“WAIT!” Taylor cried. She tried to tear away from Josh, but he just gripped her more firmly. “Razorwings is hurt! He didn’t want me to tell you.” She turned to the griffin and said,”I’m sorry, but I can’t let you carry four people while you’re injured.” 

Isaac asked Taylor, “Where is he hurt?”

“Under his left wing.”

Isaac had Razorwings lift the wing to reveal a huge, red, weepy gash. “Who did this to you?” Isaac asked Razorwings.

Josh helped Taylor limp over to the griffin. She stroked the glossy gray and brown feathers on the griffin’s neck. Her eyes went glassy. When they cleared, she told Isaac, “He says that two figures in black cloaks tried to grab him. When they found out they couldn’t get him easily, they sliced him with a sword to try and weaken him. But it just made him angrier. He flew up, swooped, and caught them by their cloaks and dumped them in a nearby lake. That last part was pretty funny to watch, even through the pain.” She smirked.

“What do you mean, watch? And could you feel his pain?” Isaac asked as he shuffled through a satchel hanging from his belt. He pulled out a glass vial of glowing blue liquid. 

As he poured it over the wound, Taylor told him, “Razor sort of pulled me into his memories, and that’s how I found out what happened. I couldn’t really feel the pain, it more like the memory of pain.”

To the Dragonlings’ amazement, the wound was closing before their very eyes. Soon, it was completely shut. Then Taylor allowed Connor to lift her onto Razorwings’  back. Josh got behind her, Connor got behind him, and Isaac sat in front of Taylor. Isaac gripped some feathers and tapped a heel on the creatures’ side. Razorwings shot of faster than a bullet. Soon, they smelled salty ocean air. They saw a cliff. But Razorwings didn’t slow down a bit. Then he jumped over the edge and everyone screamed. Even Isaac screamed, and he was used to it. Razorwings beat his wings, and they shot up. Then he flew as fast as he could, then made a sharp turn around. Then the kids looked around them they saw they were in a sky with no end, no matter where they looked. There were floating islands of land. There were woods and farmland. In the distance they could see an island with skyscrapers and flashing color. A city. 

That’s when Taylor suddenly slumped against Josh. Josh looked at Taylor. Her eyes were murky, her skin was gray, and it looked almost like her hair was wilting. “ISAAC!!” Josh yelled. 

Isaac whipped around. When he saw Taylor’s state, he turned to Razor and said, “We need to get to the hospital! Now!” Then they shot off. Meanwhile, Isaac was cursing fluently under his breath. Not soon enough, they landed on one of the islands. 

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