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 Robin Hood: Scene Four

Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:40 pm
Posts: 1323
Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:51 pm

Scene IIII

(Scene- a banquet hall with loaded table. Merry Men enter, dressed fancily and anachronistically. Alina Dale’s dress is green.)

Maid Marian: (in a stilted voice) Oh, greetings, Count Shropshire! Been having nice weather? (Waits for the imaginary count) Oh, rainy as usual? Got to be good for the crops!

Maid Marigold: Oh, Duque? Si, mi habla Espanol. Por que? Que grosero!

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: Marquess Somerset! Oh, isn’t it delightful to see you?  Why does yonder maiden not speak? Oh, we just don’t know! Isn’t it a marvelous mystery? We call her Lady Greensleeves- because she wears green sleeves! Isn’t that clever?

(Lady Greensleeves smiles trickily)

Maid Marian: You know, Count, I do believe I caught sight of Robin Hood when I was out riding? (Waits) I know, I should be more careful, but nothing surpasses the beauty of the wood! Besides- my favorite lady-in-waiting ran into him once- he was such a gentleman! I am certain he once had a title of some sort.

Maid Marigold: Sí, somos primos Duque. Ella es nuestro buen amigo, buena, y ella? Ella es nuestro misterio, Lady Greensleeves. (Waits) Oh, sí, es muy emocionante! Simplemente no sé quién es ... Ella no habla nunca. Ella siempre lleva verde. Ella viene, siempre, pero nunca se socializa. Y .... Ella desaparece. Justo en el filo de la medianoche. Nadie sabe a dónde va. Si, Duque! Hemos intentado.... Pero nadie puede cogerla. Ella es como un fantasma!

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: (whispering to Maid Marigold) Why are you speaking Spanish? This is an American play! The people watching speak English!

Maid Marigold: (whispering back) I have to be realistic. I just said that Lady Greensleeves, wink wink, was like Cinderella.

Maid Marian: You two are the absolute limit. (Smiles at imaginary nobleman.) Cahn’t you get along?  

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: Marigold here is an idiot!

Maid Marigold: I take offense at that, you old spoilsport.

Maid Marian: As any idiot would at the truth. An idiot you are… But a clever idiot, a brave idiot- a lovable idiot.

Maid Marigold: I am not an idiot.

Lady Greensleeves: (in a hissing whisper) You are, she is, and I’m hungry!

Maid Marian: You aren’t supposed to speak!

Lady Greensleeves: There’s no risk of the noblemen hearing me, Marian.

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: Disperse. Food is coming. We’re ‘attracting’ too much ‘attention’.

Maid Marigold: From the ‘noblemen’.

Maid Marian: Can’t you put on a good act?

Maid Marigold: Three, I hope. (Lady Greensleeves punches her.) Hey! What’d you do that for?

Lady Greensleeves: That was my line, thank you very much! (Wanders off dramatically)

Maid Marian: Don’t steal lines. Gold, yes. Lines, no. (Wanders off, smiling stiltedly.) Oh, Cahnt Cohnterbury!  How distinguished! (Looks back with a facepalm.)

Maid Marigold: Why does my dear cousin use a Boston accent?

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: She’s seen The Parent Trap one too many times. (Puts her arm around Maid Marigold’s shoulders) But I shahn’t tell my ahnt about the ahnts- I mean ants.

Maid Marigold: So have you. (Wanders off with a flirtatious smile to some nobleman.)

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: (after blinking repeatedly) Oh dear. I forgot my line. I’m just going to have to ad-lib… Oh, Lord? How very interesting!

Maid Marigold: Fail. Epic fail.

Jennifer Fitzwilliam: I know. Now quit it.

(All freeze except Lady Greensleeves)

Lady Greensleeves: And many more boring things went on that night, but I won’t bore you. Suffice it to say that there were a great deal of childish giggles, half-drunken noblemen, and a centaur in a prom dress. (Pause) That was a weird summer. Anyway, for the purposes of the play, we’ll skip a chase scene with the police, a ginormous argument between Little Jen and Jill, and me finally completing “The Ghost of Sherwood Shores”. We’ll just skip to right before the archery contest.

(Normal movements resume.)
(Curtain, with a wink and mysterious smile from Lady Greensleeves

 Re: Robin Hood: Scene Four

Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 7216
Wed Dec 29, 2010 3:38 pm
This is SO funny!! :D


Happy Holidays!! :D

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