Post Work in Progress for Peer Review


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  
Author Message
 Running from the World

Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:07 pm
Posts: 57
Sun Sep 04, 2016 2:50 am

Running from the World


Prologue: Isabel

“You can't!” I cry,flinging myself at Carly,my older sister.Through my tears,I see her saddened face. “I have to, Isabel, don't you get it?”

“No.” I force myself to stop crying

“I can't live like a caged bird just because I’m different. One day, you’ll understand.”

“Sister swear you’ll come back?”

She thinks for a moment. “Sister swear I’ll see you again. You have the word of Carly Summers.”

And she walks off, into the night.


I tiptoe downstairs. Too late. Mom’s up. “Happy birthday,honey! Eleven years old!”

“Here, have some waffles.”

“Can I go outside?”

“Sure. Just be back in time for presents! And be very very careful!”

“Okay,mom.” She is soooooo overprotective.

I wolf down waffles with chocolate spread-my favorite breakfast-and rush over to my best friend Jason’s house. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Let's go to the woods!”

He runs his fingers through his blond hair. “I just got up, Reyna.”

“I guess you don’t want to practice today.” I turn and walk off.

“Hold on. Let me get my sneakers.”

Jason and I share a secret. One that some would kill for.


FINALLY! ELEVEN YEARS OLD!I run downstairs. “Mom, I’m gonna use my outside day today!”

For whatever reason, the government has said kids with powers have to stay inside until they are 11 years old. Even then, until they turn 16, I believe, they can only go outside five days a year. I rush outside, and I breathe in the fresh spring air, soaking everything in. I go to the tree I’ve seen outside every day since I was old enough to remember. It looks perfect for climbing. Low limbs, not too tall. I scale it easily. I’ve been rock climbing in my house gym since I was five. I descend and rush over to the fence separating me from Marc, my best friend. I climb it so I can see the other side, but I’m not on top of it. Marc rushes over. “Finally! Eleven years old!”

“I know! I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life!”

I tie up my blond hair. “Did you even get dressed, or did you rush outside in your Spider-Man pajamas?” I tease.

“Well, I didn’t rush outside in my minion slippers.” He retaliates.

I laugh. “Fine, you’ve got me.”

He runs his fingers through his black hair. “Wanna come over?”


For kids like us, our houses have EVERYTHING in them. People without? Not so much. It isn’t fair. And I’m going to do something about it.


“I’m coming for you,you little freaks!” Oliver calls. “Run!” Reyna screams.I take off, my feet pounding against the soil."Come on!" I yell. I know an abandoned tunnel under the highway. WE finally get there. My lungs feel like they're on fire. My throat is gonna fall out of my chest. I look over at Reyna. I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm lucky to be her boyfriend. There's a purple curtain behind it. Without thinking, I run through it, going out the other side of the tunnel. And I don't emerge in chicago. I emerge in a different world.


I'm walking through the woods with Isabel when I hear a voice. "Iz?" Let's-"

"Check it out?"


We tentatively walk over to the voices. We see something we've never seen before in our lives. There are people like us-that aren't from here.


Immediately,  I know that these people we can trust. "Who are you?"

The girl kisses the boy's cheek. "I'm Reyna, and this is Jason. We just turned 11 today"

"No way! Us too!"

The girl's eyes widen. "I read an old book. There was a prophecy, that two girls and two boys,born on the same day,would meet,though they lived in two different worlds."


Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  

PRS © 2008 PRS Team