Post Work in Progress for Peer Review

Announcements


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 7 posts ] Average score:  
Author Message
 Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1
visitor

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:48 pm
Posts: 33
Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:42 pm
The Setting is a small suburbian neighborhood. The time is 10:00 on a dark summer night.
**********************************************************************************
Narrator: The night was black, thick, and suffocating, like a thick syrup. Trying to breath in the night air was a single girl, with bright green eyes.
Jessie (thinking): It's so humid. How do animals live this time of year?
Narrator: Jessie wasn't paying attention. Neither was the driving that was approaching her at 45 miles an hour from behind. Jessie turned around in just enough time to see the bright yellow headlights.



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1
regular_contributor

Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:24 pm
Posts: 1822
Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:29 am
Good! This scene is a bit short, but what you have is great!
 
Keep up the great work!
 
- Allie



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1

Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 1:59 am
Posts: 1
Thu Aug 11, 2011 3:24 pm
this is relly deatailed i love it



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1
new

Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:27 am
Posts: 8
Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:54 pm

i'm eager to see what happens next!




 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1

Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:53 am
Posts: 14
Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:47 pm

That was absolutly superb. I love when it said she saw yellow head lights. Chilling.

-McKenzie




 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1
new

Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:55 pm
Posts: 61
Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:52 pm

This is so cool!!!

 

 

 

 

CATS RULE!!




 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 1

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 110
Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:31 pm
cool short though but good



Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
   [ 7 posts ] Average score:  


cron
PRS © 2008 PRS Team