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 Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 2
visitor

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:48 pm
Posts: 33
Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:48 pm
FLASHBACK
The Setting is a warm summer evening. Jessie is sitting with her boyfriend, Justin. They are at a picnic on a grassy hill.

Justin: Jessie. There is no easy way to tell you this but I-
Jessie (fearing the worst): Are you breaking up with me?
Justin: No. It's worse. Jessie, I'm dying.

Shock covers Jessie's face, and she begins to cry.

Jessie: What is it? Is it something curable? Are you going to live? Is there... Is there any chance? What are your treatment options???
Justin: I have terminal cancer. I am going to die.

Jessie leans on to Justin's shoulder and bawls.
FADE TO BLACK



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 2

Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:20 am
Posts: 2
Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:43 am
best story ever



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 2
regular_contributor

Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:24 pm
Posts: 1822
Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:30 am
I feel like the last scene wasn't wrapped up once you dove right into the flashback which feels a bit confusing. This second scene is much better, however, you might want to add more dialogue leading up to Justin telling her he is dying.
 
Great job so far!
 
- Allie



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 2

Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 11:58 pm
Posts: 2
Thu Nov 17, 2011 11:04 pm
It's quite good! It can use a bit of polishing and making it clearer. But that can easily be fixed, this is a good story and it fits the category. DRAMATIC!!!!!!!!!!!! DID I SAY THIS YET, IT IS QUITE GOOD!keep it up!



 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 2

Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2011 3:11 pm
Posts: 505
Sat Apr 07, 2012 2:56 am

yeah! it's good keep up the good work! :3




 Re: Sapphire Eyes ACT I SCENE 2
new

Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:55 pm
Posts: 61
Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:54 pm

This girl is soooo unlucky!!! Put somthing lucky in her life!! It would put some hope in the play!

 

Cats Rule!!




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