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Grade School Mom
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Ok, I don't think my son is a genius but he does well in school, so I was really taken aback when I found a quiz with a failing grade in his backpack the other night. Not that I expect him to always get an A, but I never expected him to keep something like this from his father and me. After all, we have to sign tests, quizzes and papers that come home; we receive progress reports and report cards regularly; and parent-teacher conferences are fast approaching -- so did he really think we somehow wouldn't find out? Or am I setting expectations so high he is afraid to share anything below a certain grade? Am I raising a perfectionist? Or is this normal behavior for a tween?
When I approached him about it, he meekly looked up and said he forgot to show it to me. But did he really forget? I am starting to believe that maybe we are so concerned with performance, the learning is what is being forgotten. I am guilty myself. I ask, "Do you have any tests or quizzes you need to study for?" When maybe I should be asking, "Do you need help learning x, y or z?" We are becoming so test-focused, that maybe we are sending a message that it is only grades that count, not the mastering of knowledge. I certainly don't want him to be afraid of sharing anything that isn't stellar so I have decided to try a new tactic. I am really going to try hard not to comment on the grades he gets but ask him what he learned on the test or quiz. Maybe if I change my approach, he will feel more comfortable. It's worth a try don't you think? Comments
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Coing from a person who "forgot" to show her parents a feew things, THIS IS NORMAL! Although I'm sure he didn't forget he probably put in it the way back coener of his mind. Especially in the tween years everything is out of sight out of mind when it comes to failed tests. I wouldn't let him off the hook about it though. Focus on the fact that he kept it hidden NOT on what the grade was. New subjects, lack of sleep, the girl two seats up, lots of things can be distracting during a test. Open the doors of communiction about what He thinks happened with this test, compare it to your thoughts and see what you can come up with together to solve the problem. Let him know that you are not perfect either. We all mess up at work, home or whereever we are. MONICA
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Sylvia,
Kids are kids. Sometimes, they are okay....sometimes, they are up to throw you up the wall. But, you are a better judge of your child. Try to insinuate without being so controlling. I am sure that with proper guidance, your son will get back to the right course of life. Congratulations on having a child who does well in school. That's a big accomplishment as a parent!
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