Post Work in Progress for Peer Review

Announcements


Welcome to Write It, the home for young writers. Post your works-in-progress and get feedback or give your opinion on your peers’ creative writing. Try a step-by-step writing workshop, then publish your writing online.

You’ve probably noticed we’ve made some changes to the boards! Find the boards for Underground Railroad historical fiction, Science Explorations, Scholastic News, and more right here.

Looking for our boards dedicated to favorite series, authors, and causes? You'll find them on THE STACKS. Head on over for the Buzz Board, Harry Potter, Save the Planet, Goosebumps, and more!
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  
Author Message
 Talk about Having a Bad Day
new

Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2015 2:51 pm
Posts: 2
Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:40 pm

Have you ever woken one morning and thought this is going to be the best weekend ever but find out it was the complete opposite. If you haven’t read my story continue reading it to find out what it’s like. But if something like this already happened to you I’m sure you will still find this story interesting.

  It all started when I was startled out of my sleep by my mom, then she said for me to get up and take a shower.  Then I had to get dress and eat breakfast so we can drive to my dad’s doctor’s appointment before my first class started.

  I was still tired but I thought that the big breakfast with my family, was going to make up for my sleepiness. When I got out of the shower I was so in a rush that I forgot to get my clothes. So I to rap myself in a towel and zip past the kitchen because the kitchen was it the middle of the bathroom and my room. So I had to run past my parents without them see because we have a rule about getting dressed in the bathroom and I have broken that rule so many times they said the next time that I do that I’m in big trouble. I finally got my clothes and went back to the bathroom to put on my clothes.

  Once I head to the kitchen I went to my room to put on my shoes. Then I heard "LaLa!" my mom shouted, "Yes!" I yelled. "Hurry up so you can eat and we can get out of here before class starts!" ,she continued,  "I'm coming!" I said. I hurry to put on my shoes and ran to the kitchen. But all I saw was my parents sitting there already eating, worst of all is that we were having oatmeal for breakfast. The fact that we were having oatmeal didn't really bothered me it is the fact that it was fruit oatmeal and it wasn't enough oatmeal to last me til' lunch. The last thing on my mind to eat as far as breakfast it oatmeal fruit. Now I don't know why mom gave me oatmeal fruit even though she knows how much I dislike it. Anyway I decide to eat it anyway because I had no other choice when it comes to what moms feed you for breakfast. We had to leave so I put the rest of my oatmeal in a cup and took it to go. When we got to the clinic I went to go sit in a small waiting section while my parents signed in to let the people know that he is here. I sat my computer next to the seat next to me started to finish eating. Then class started and I went to class and mean while the called my dad in a room to get his checkup done. When my dad's checkup was done we went to the car and left. We head to our favorite place to do grocery shopping or should I say my parents’ favorite. I really was not in the mood for shopping at all I wanted to happen is for my Grandma to answer my calls for me to go sleep over at her house. After we did our shopping we headed home.

  At home I asked my dad can I call grandma, then he gave me the phone and said uncaringly "Go ahead." I took the phone and then called grandma several times. She did not answer. I told my dad and he told me to wait an hour and they call her again. I was disappointed that my grandma might have forgot about me. Too get my mind off it I turned on my DVD player and TV and watched Saved by the Bell. Then after an hour gone by my parents decided to just swing by her house and see if she is there.

  We stopped by her house and she was there. We walked through the door and I said hi to grandma. But Guess What? She said she was there the whole time! I laughed and I smelled the food grandma was making I thought to myself yummy! Grandma asked me do I what some rice and fish with Tuna salad and I said yes, please! How can I say no to my grandma food! It is so good to me it is a pot of gold! After I ate grandma's friend came through the door (my grandma likes to rent rooms out so she can keep her house and help her friends who needs a place to stay). He went to the kitchen to talk to grandma. I was expecting for his little girl to come through the door with him because that was the second reason why I came over. But she was at her mom's house. Then they went upstairs and Grandma told me to stay downstairs while they talked. I said okay I went to read a magazine. An hour passed and I was starting to wonder if she forgot about me. Then grandma called me up. About the time I got up stairs grandma and her friend went downstairs while I watched TV in grandma's room. She told me she would be back. I watched TV for a little bit and then I went to go use the bathroom when I saw the downstairs light turned off and grandma fell asleep. I was like grandma you said you will be back later not I will be back in the morning! After feeling sad because I’m scared when I’m sleeping in grandma’s room by myself because her antique dolls that are in her room kind of freak me out when I slept at night. Then all of a sudden the power goes out, I was really afraid that will happen because my grandma has kind of has an electrical problem. I was really scared now so I went to the attic door and knocked hesitantly on the door, my mom’s uncle or my great uncle came downstairs and asked me what was wrong and I told him the power went out then he checked all the lights and they all flickered.  Then I followed him down stairs, he went to the basement while I woke grandma up and told her what happened she told me to go back to bed, doesn’t she know how devastated I am? But I obeyed and went back to her room and went back to her room and laid under the blanket hoping that tomorrow will be a wonderful day. Then I drifted off to troubled sleep.

     That’s the end of my story! So you see that having a bad day like mine isn’t so great! Especially if there nothing but bad things happening to you. I hope my story will help you to make sure you won’t have a day like mines. I wish you a lot of luck!cheeky




Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
   [ 1 post ] Average score:  


PRS © 2008 PRS Team