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 The Dragon Slayer [Chapter one]
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2010 2:36 pm
Posts: 64
Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:57 pm

The Dragon Slayer

Chapter one

THEN

The vague memories float in my head of my childhood. A shepherd in the pastures of Ladria the land burned to the ground. I remember the night it happened. My heart thump something seemed very wrong then the knock on the door rang through the house. My cotton covers got tighter No one answered and the knock turned into a bang. My mother opened the door to me room. The look on her face was scary to look at she was nervous yet determined at the same time.

“We have to go now!” She yelled through the doorway and grabbed me.

     Being very small I ask “Why?”

          “They’re here” She said almost whispering. I walk into the hall and saw my brothers and sister all lined up. I was the oldest of them. “Who?” I asked, but she kept silent. The banging on the door got louder, and there were now muffled yells every now and then.

“Who?” I said again, and this time I wanted an answer.  All Five of us dashed for my mother’s room. Making tracks on the wood floor. I caught a short glimpse out a window. I saw Fire on most every house, and dead citizens everywhere.  Large fire balls where falling on the town. We were under attack. The full moon still shined like a diamond.

“Who?” I say this time confirming my answer. The door busted open as we filed down a trap door my mother following behind. “Them” my mother said her face turning into failure. I held open the trap door hoisting myself in when my mother was lifted by a man in full armor. I pull my feet from the trap door making it slam.”Hey!” I yell. The two men with him both dressed the some way picked me up. I didn’t understand why it took two full grown men to pick me up. I was just a child. My mother and I were taken past are kitchen and out the door.

I was separated from my mother as a man with a spear took her behind the house. They threw torches at my house. A shrill scream came from behind it. Right now speech was unattainable. The grass on my feet wasn’t even soothing. The guards just drug me until I fell asleep. I still wonder what happened to my brothers and sister.

I remember the time I spent in the stockades a time of curiosity. The most horrid place I have ever been is those cells. The floors and walls were ice cold stone. I had a roommate Nelion who trimmed his finger nails daily. He was clean like me so I was gracious had him. We were all ways chained to the wall so all I ever saw was his dark brown hair over his eyes. At first I was confused, but slowly everything was a regular day to me. Being slipped small portions of food every morning and having to fight over them with Nelion.

Every night you were expected to go to sleep even though rats run across the floor and other prisoners shouted. The worst thing of was the smell. The prison cells just had drains no toilets and the rats added to the smell. Some food was left over or dropped, and rotted. All of the smells mixed together creating a stench so bad prison guards stand outside the jail. The day the guard came in to give us our food and recognized me was the greatest day of my life. It was several years after my abduction, but my brother Tonus found me. My brothers and sister had been separated across the lands. Somehow my brother recognized me at the age of seventeen.

After a year of herding sheep my chance finally came. Several knights came up the meadow to speak to me. The forces of the kingdom Willowshire was running low and they were drafting me although I would have excepted if they had just ask. Now a squad of guards are caring me to my destiny.




 Re: The Dragon Slayer [Chapter one]
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:30 pm
Posts: 411
Sat Sep 18, 2010 8:31 pm
This looks like it will be a good story. There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes that I'll try to point out, but they may not be very good because I was up late last night reading The Crossbones.
 


_Trixta88_ wrote:

The Dragon Slayer

Chapter one

THEN

The vague memories float in my head of my childhood. A shepherd in the pastures of Ladria the land burned to the ground. I remember the night it happened. My heart thumped, something seemed very wrong then the knock on the door rang through the house. My cotton covers got tighter. No one answered and the knock turned into a bang. My mother opened the door to my room. The look on her face was scary to look at. She was nervous yet determined at the same time.

“We have to go, now!” She yelled through the doorway and grabbed me.

     Being very small I ask “Why?”

          “They’re here” She said almost whispering. I walk into the hall and saw my brothers and sister all lined up. I was the oldest of them. “Who?” I asked, but she kept silent. The banging on the door got louder, and there were now muffled yells every now and then.

“Who?” I said again, and this time I wanted an answer.  All Five of us dashed for my mother’s room. Making tracks on the wood floor, I caught a short glimpse out a window. I saw fire on most every house, and dead citizens everywhere.  Large fire balls where falling on the town. We were under attack. The full moon still shined like a diamond.

“Who?” I say this time comfirming my answer. The door busted(use a different word) open as we filed down a trap door, my mother following behind. “Them” my mother said her face turning into failure. I held open the trap door hoisting myself in when my mother was lifted by a man in full armor. I pull my feet from the trap door making it slam.”Hey!” I yell. The two men with him both dressed the same way picked me up. I didn’t understand why it took two full grown men to pick me up. I was just a child. My mother and I were taken past our kitchen and out the door.

I was separated from my mother as a man with a spear took her behind the house. They threw torches at my house. A shrill scream came from behind it. Right now speech was unattainable. The grass on my feet wasn’t even soothing. The guards drugged me until I fell asleep. I still wonder what happened to my brothers and sister.

I remember the time I spent in the stockades, a time of curiosity. The most horrid place I have ever been is those cells. The floors and walls were ice cold stone. I had a roommate, Nelion, who trimmed his finger nails daily. He was clean like me so I was gracious had him. We were always chained to the wall so all I ever saw was his dark brown hair over his eyes. At first I was confused, but slowly everything was a regular day to me. Being slipped small portions of food every morning and having to fight over them with Nelion.

Every night you were expected to go to sleep even though rats ran across the floor and other prisoners shouted. The worst thing of all was the smell. The prison cells just had drains no toilets and the rats added to the smell. Some food was left over or dropped, and rotted. All of the smells mixed together creating a stench so bad prison guards stand outside the jail(a little unclear at first). The day the guard came in to give us our food and recognized me was the greatest day of my life. It was several years after my abduction, but my brother Tonus found me. My brothers and sister had been separated across the lands. Somehow my brother recognized me at the age of seventeen.

After a year of herding sheep my chance finally came. Several knights came up the meadow to speak to me. The forces of the kingdom Willowshire was running low and they were drafting me although I would have excepted if they had just ask. Now a squad of guards are caring me to my destiny.



It was really just small errors. Keep writing!
 
"It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do."
                                                                                - Lightning



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