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 the flight
new

Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:27 pm
Posts: 3
Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:46 pm

 

i was wondering if anyone could tell me what they think of this so far!

 

 

 

 

hi, my name is  ashley. my life may seem normal but its not! even though i have hair the color of Carmel, and eyes as blue as the night sky my life is still not normal! oh, and when i mean eyes as blue as the night sky i mean it! my eyes, are actuley part of the night sky! How? you may ask. well, i am a angel!

 

i still need to find my true talent though! some angels have special abilities to be good with kids, make food well, train dogs well, and many more! but, i STILL don't no mine and i am in 5th grade! most people find theirs out in 2nd! anyways, this story i am about to tell you is 100% true. the main characters in this story are also in 5th grade! 

 

it all started on a cold,snowy,breezy day in blingville (a small town in the state of chillville)

“Alli! Pay attion!” mrs.bewnfiled exclaimed.

 

“Yes mrs.bewnfiled. i will pay attion now.” alli replied

 

“good. Now class, this is exactly what i mean by dosing off.”

 

Ring ring!

 

“goodbye class! have a good weekend!”

 

“mary! where have you been!” alli yelled

 

“what do you think! dealing with, *gulp* Max’

 

“aww! im sorry! lets just go home!”

 

“burr! its getting cold out!” alli told mary

 

They get inside and start talking about max,

 

“what did he do today!” alli asked

 

“well, first he PUSHED me in a MUD puddle, next in class, he put a whoppe cushion on my chair, then at lunch once agin he pushed me in a mud puddle so he could steel my food, and finally, he took my math homework of 50 problems and RIPPED IT INTO 100 LITTLE PICES! he even counted! i don't know what to do now! he’s just SO mean!” mary said quickly.

 

“oh come on! I'm sure he did not mean to push you in a puddle!” alli replied

 

“OH! yes he did!” mary said in a sassy way

 

“what ever. time for you to go home now.’ alli said

 




 Re: the flight
visitor

Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 10:23 pm
Posts: 123
Sat May 19, 2012 4:38 am
It's really good! I like it. All I really noticed was some spelling errors and you need to put capitol letters at the begining of your sentences. But other than that it was GREAT!!!! :)



 regular
new

Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 4:11 pm
Posts: 1
Thu May 31, 2012 4:28 pm
i like doing it !;)



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