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   [ 2 posts ] Average score:  
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 The Flower on the Moon
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Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:41 pm
Posts: 2
Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:07 pm

Hi. I'm Melody.And I am here to tell you a story. It was about my father.His name was Rick Sinclair. Let me tell you this,he is very brave. It all started with a flower on the moon.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Prologue                 




 Re: The Flower on the Moon
frequent_contributor

Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:51 pm
Posts: 7835
Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:19 am

This is a nice start! You'll want your chapters to be a bit longer, but for a beginning, you're doing pretty well. Try to combine more of your sentences to make them sound better and work as a part of a whole. Keep writing, and you'll get better as you go along!

Kira

Unofficial Adult Advisor for Write It!




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