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 The Forsaken (Prologue)

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 12:11 am
Posts: 2
Thu Mar 17, 2016 12:17 am


I don’t know what to do. I can’t get myself to speak the millions of words that fumble to my lips. It feels as if my mind has gone blank and I don’t know how to move anymore.

I can’t tell if it is sleep insomnia or glee that takes over. My mouth falls open, not to speak the words that crowd my mind, but only for a purpose I can’t find. Without even thinking, my hands go up to my lips, like I’m trying to hide my happiness. Tears fall from my eyes and roll silently down my cheeks.

My whole body shakes with joy and anticipation. I place my shaky hands on the edges of two cradles. Emotions sweep through my body, sending waves of happiness, joy, and anxiousness bouncing around inside of me.

Through a steady stream of tears, I gaze at the infants peacefully sleeping. I have experienced so many infants in my lifetime and couldn’t care less about them. Yet, there is something different from seeing one and having one. There is something more meaningful when it is yours.

“Would you like to hold them?” An older woman who must be their Caregiver asks me. I find my head nodding and my arm wiping tears from my eyes. They look so delicate, like they would shatter with one single touch.

The older woman swiftly scoops up the child on the left and hands it over to me. The baby is swaddled in a soft white cloth with pink lining. A girl. Her cheeks are considerably plump and her skin is flushed with a rosy red.

Kameron appears behind me with a wide smile planted on his face. I feel his strong hands gripping my shoulders with affection. Though I know what is soon to come, I try to forget about it and cherish the moment while I still can.

“She’s perfect,” I whisper, unsure whether I am whispering so I won’t wake the child or if whisper is all I can muster from my lips. “Absolutely perfect.”

I will have to send a thank you letter to the Birth Mother for bearing the child for us. She is absolutely beautiful; the Birth Mother has done well. For a few quick moments, everything is calm and quiet, but the sound of wheels turning breaks the peace. I glance up to see a woman dressed in all white who must have come in while I wasn’t paying attention. Her long blonde hair flies behind her as she rolls the other cradle with the other child away.

“Wait.” I call out after the blond woman. Why is she taking the other child? The woman turns around with a face that must look about as surprised as mine. “What are you doing?”

“I-I was told you had chosen that child, Miss,” She replies in a whisper. The stutter in her voice reminds me of when I was a new Caregiver, not completely sure that I was doing things the correct way. She must be in training.

“No,” I say, “we haven’t decided, yet.” The blonde Caregiver looks over to the other older one who stands in the corner of the room, supervising us and the Caregiver-in-training.  The older woman nods to her and the Caregiver-in-training brings the cradle back in front of us.

“They are both the same weight.” The older woman says as the blonde Caregiver-in-training walks to a spot in the corner of the room. “The older one is the one you are holding. Traditionally, the younger one is ‘sent away’ if they weigh the same.”

“I know,” I tell her, unhappy that the time to hold the children is cut short. I place the sleeping child in my arms back into the empty cradle where she once rested.  “May we have a word in private?” I ask, turning to Kameron.

“Yes, uh,” She answers, turning out the door. “Of course.” Once she is out of the room, I inspect  for cameras. I peer down the sleek white walls, up at the ceiling, and finally out the gigantic windows at the far side of the room. No cameras in sight.

“What do you want to do?” Kameron asks when I tell him that no one is watching us. I know what his question actually means. He’s asking me what child we want to ‘send away’.

I glance at the twins quietly resting in the white cradles. Their small chests slowly rise and fall and it is like I can feel them breathing through me. I am their guardian now that they aren’t in their mother’s care. Their tiny fists clench and unclench, making the corners of my lips up turn in a smile. I have the duty to protect them no matter what.

“I won’t give either away,” I tell him, not taking my eyes off the infants.

“What are you talking about?” He questions, puzzled by what I’d just told him. I can feel him intently staring at me, but I can’t bear to look into his questioning eyes.

“What, you want to keep both?” He says, laughing at me. I know he expects me to crack a smile or shake my head, but I keep a straight face. His smile fades away.

“You want to keep both.” He finally gets it. “How, Edalyn? We can’t keep both. There are rules, there is a policy against it, ‘One child per family.’ We’ve gone over this before.” I stay silent.

“We have to choose, there are no other choices,” He says. I turn to face him. My nerves are jittery and my hands shake at my sides.

“There are other choices. We can keep both.” I reply, trying to sound calmer than I actually am.

“How can we keep both, really, Edalyn? We can’t; we could never pull that off. We’d be sentenced to the Forsaken.” He points to the infants. “They would be sentenced to the Forsaken. Do you want that for them?”

“What is better? Letting someone murder one of our children, or letting both have life and being sentenced to the Forsaken?” I say in disbelief, shaking my head. Is he really considering giving up one of the two twins to be murdered?

“Yeah? And how will we get them both out of here?” He asks. “It’s illegal. They won’t just let us leave with two kids, that’s not how it works.”

I ponder this thought. How could we get both twins out of here? We could obviously take one home as our legal child, but what about the other? If we tried to steal the child, we would be the most obvious suspects and  get easily caught. I think about the timeline from now until the child is ‘sent away’. There is no time in between where I could possibly steal the infant anyway. I could only manage to go under the radar if I am there when the infant gets ‘sent away’.

“We would take one infant back as our legal child.” I pause, trying to make sure that all the pieces fit together. “I’m a Caregiver; if I am approved to be the Caregiver, I’ll also be the one assigned to send it ‘away’.” Kameron gives me a look of  uncertainty. “I can tell them I’d sent it away. They won’t suspect anything.” I tell him, sure of my plan. He opens his mouth to talk, but I cut him off.

“There is a chance I won’t be approved to be its Caregiver. If I don’t get chosen, then it must be fate that the child gets ‘sent away’. If I do,” I stop, knowing he must know what I’m about to say, “It must mean we were meant to have the child.” I look up at him. “Is that fair?”

He sighs, knowing I’ve won. “I suppose, but...” Before he can finish, I embrace him and let a smile cross my face.

“But,” He tries to continue, but I cut him off.

“Don’t ruin the moment, Kameron.” I say to him.  There is no absolute certainty that I’ll be approved, but there is still a chance, a sliver of hope that I’ll be able to take both of my children home.

I close my eyes and imagine the memories to come, taking the one child home, even if I won’t be able to take the other. I’ll still watching her first steps, teach her, see her grow up and find love in the Matching Ceremony.

She will no doubt love hers just as much as I loved mine. The image of the first time meeting Kameron fills my head. I can feel the warmth of the memory swirl throughout my body.


“Lady Edalyn, will you be my partner?” I remember him asking me at the Matching Ceremony. I let out a giddy giggle as he bowed politely.

I looked around the large Matching Hall. The many girls lined up beside me wore the most whimsical dresses with intricate embroidery designs, dazzling sequins and sparkles, and fabric that looked as if it had been woven from the finest materials. I looked down at my own.

When I went to choose my dress the Sector had provided for me, I chose one that wouldn’t make me stand out. I didn’t want to divert the attention to me. Yet, it hadn’t worked very well. All the girls chose a dress that would make them stand out. I was the only one with a dress that was very unexciting. The attention was turned to my bland dress among all the glamorous ones.

The color of my dress was a dull gray with a few jewels in a design on the front. At the waist, it billowed out off to the floor in a heap of sparkly-gray fabric. Though my dress was very underwhelming, I still felt beautiful. Even next to all the exquisite dresses the other girls had picked out. It is a rare occasion for anyone to get to wear dresses as beautiful as these.

“Of course, uh…” I blushed, trying to read his nametag under the folds of his suit coat. Not only did the girls get to dress up fancy, so did the boys. They received a tailored suit jacket and pants of their choice from the Sector. I could tell by the looks of his suit coat, he had gotten an awful tailor.

“Kameron” He finishes for me, lifting up his nametag for me to see. As he said, I read Kameron Maxton imprinted in black letters on the shiny name tag. He held an arm out for me and I looped it in his.


I am brought back to reality with the whoosh of a sliding-door opening for a Guard to come in. The older Caregiver must have heard us fighting and sent Guard in case it escalated. I pull away from Kameron.

“Are you almost ready?” The Guard asks, stepping in the doorway.

“One minute, I swear,” Kameron answers for me.

“Once you have decided, the Progenitor Forms are waiting outside.” The Guard says, his face emotionless.

“Thank you,” I reply with some sort of urgency in my voice. The Guard notices and a scowl forms on his face. He nods and leaves in a hurry, disturbed by my impoliteness. The door closes behind him with a swish.

“The older one?” I ask him. It will seem less suspicious if we choose traditionally. If we don’t follow tradition, they may be more likely to check up on us more frequently.

“Sure,” He replies, “whichever you want.” He holds his hand out to mine. I take it and look up at him. I am ready to start a new chapter. I may not be able to control what happens next, but I know that as long as he is here with me, everything will be all right.

When we exit the room, the older Caregiver is waiting for is with a Data-Tab in her arms. People are hustling around in the hallways, telling orders and typing information on the screens of Data-Tabs. It comforts me to be back in such a familiar setting.

The older Caregiver hands us the Data-Tab in her arms. “I suppose you’ve decided, then?” She asks. I take the Data-Tab from her. She gives me a quick smile.

“Yes,” I say, looking at the screen. Progenitor Forms is in bold letters at the top.

“Very well, just type in your Codes and specify the child you chose and the name she will be registered as.” She says. “We will prepare for departure once you finish.”

I look up at her and give her a gratified smile. I know how everything works, I have an Occupation here, but it is nice of her to show me the ropes.

I look back down at the screen and type in my Code. A message pops up asking for Kameron to enter his code in too. Even though we are wed and are not allowed to keep secrets from each other, we still can’t share our Codes. We may be contemplating breaking an even more serious crime, but we might as well keep our slate as clean as long as possible until then.

I hand the Data-Tab to Kameron to type in his Code. Once he finishes entering the 4-digit string of numbers, he hands it back to me. A message has appeared on the screen.


Edalyn and Kameron Gabrielli, as you know, your assigned Birth Mother has bore identical twins. As our policy states, ‘Only one child per family’. The Order believes letting citizens make decisions, so we offer you the choice of what infant you would like. You can only receive one of the two infants, and  because the twins are identical, the other twin you do not choose cannot be taken by a separate family, so it will be sent away. Please choose wisely.


Click the checkbox of the desired infant below:


___The Older Child

___The Younger Child


I have to look up at Kameron before I click the check box. He nods to me and press the checkbox indicating the older child. I have to pause and take a deep breath before I hit ‘continue’.

Once I do, I almost immediately regret it. If I don’t get approved to be the other child’s Caregiver, I’d just sent in her death sentence.

The older Caregiver who helped us before comes up behind us with a white infant carrier. Inside, the older child is now awake, curiously looking around the hallway. I am surprised by how quick the Caregiver was to get the child ready. She must have guessed we would take the traditional route.

“For you,” She says, holding out the carrier for me to take. Holding the Data-Tab in one hand, I take the carrier with the other.

Kameron leans down and runs his hand over the little hairs growing the infant’s head and uses a finger to tickle her stomach.

She lets out a soft giggle that sounds like a sweet symphony in my head. Even after she stops giggling, I can still hear it ringing in my head, reminding me of the painting of the stars and the moon done before the Fall. Something inside me clicks like a gear was pushed back into place. I crouch down so I can whisper in Kameron’s ear.

“I know what I want to name them. “ I whisper.

 Re: The Forsaken (Prologue)

Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:29 pm
Posts: 88
Sun Apr 10, 2016 8:33 pm

its a really good story, i hope you post more, its really really good!

 Re: The Forsaken (Prologue)

Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 7:23 pm
Posts: 14
Tue Apr 12, 2016 1:16 am

This is a great prologue!! I can't wait for the next chapter. 

 Re: The Forsaken (Prologue)

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2016 12:11 am
Posts: 2
Sun Apr 17, 2016 11:03 pm

Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback! I will be posting another chapter soon. I've been working on it a lot lately and the whole novel is around 220 pages. 

Thank you to all!

 Re: The Forsaken (Prologue)

Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 8:01 pm
Posts: 270
Sat Jun 25, 2016 8:02 pm



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