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 The Golden Locket

Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 11:08 am
Posts: 16
Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:35 pm

smileyOk, so I just started writing this. I think it's better than my other story (the one about Iris). I put a lot more description into this tale. Now mind you I'm definitely not finished, but any comments hat you have I would lover to hear- er read. 

A dark carriage, pulled by two grey horses, rode through the fields of Andlas.
Inside, two women sat together. One was old, with grey hairs interspersed among her black ones. The other, little more than a child, had, like the woman, dark brown, almost black, ringlets that covered her head. 
The woman wore a black wool traveling gown. Around her neck, a string of pearls resided. On her head was a gaudy gold crown. The girl bore a dark green, ankle length traveling gown. Silver laces tied up the bodice and her hair was pulled back with a delicate diamond tiara. They were of obvious wealth.
The girl sat slouched, as if in a low state of mind. She watched the passing fields in the dim light of twilight. A short sigh escaped her small pink lips.
"Elizabeth! Do not slouch as so! Sit up, and straighten out your dress." The woman said sharply.
"Yes, Mother." The girl, Elizabeth, did as she was bade. The two females sat in silence as the carriage carried on. The only sound was that of the horses hooves hitting the compact dirt of the road.
Elizabeth soon returned to her occupation of watching the landscape pass. Not long passed before she spotted lights in the growing dark. As they neared, she could make out buildings and windows.
"Mother! Look! I can see it! Oh, I can't wait to see Polka and Clara! Oh, Mother! Imagine! We're all going to a ball!" The girl exclaimed, overjoyed.
"Elizabeth! You must learn to control your reactions. You will be representing the whole kingdom of Andlas at this ball. You would not wish people to think us, the ruling monarchs of Andlas, uncivilized, would you?" The girl bowed her head, ashamed.
"No Mother. I should not wish to inflict such an impression." 
"Good," The woman nodded. "Do not forget your manners, and remember to eat in moderation. Not grabbing five biscuits as you are oft to do." Before the girl could reply the carriage stopped and the door was opened by the coachman. 
"We have arrived your majesties." He said meekly as he bowed.
The woman exited the carriage without so even glancing at the driver. Elizabeth, on the other hand quietly thanked him. 
After they disembarked the girl looked around the village where they had stopped anxiously. She stopped when she spotted a slight girl with straight, raven hair. Elizabeth ran over and embraced the girl.
"Oh Polka! Look at you darling, you should get ready for the ball! What ever are you doing wearing your play clothes?" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Ellie, I-" Polka began, with a lilting accent.
"Oh no, no excuses! You must get ready." She grabbed Polka's arm. "Come, I'll help you."

 Re: The Golden Locket

Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2015 8:45 pm
Posts: 21
Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:22 pm

This is soooo good! You have a really good writers reputation. I'm not always that great.wink

 Re: The Golden Locket

Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 11:04 pm
Posts: 1
Wed Sep 14, 2016 11:05 pm

I loved it! smiley

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