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   [ 13 posts ] Average score:  

How do you describe Tara?
Emotional 40%  40%  [ 6 ]
Wierd 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
Desperate 20%  20%  [ 3 ]
Depressed 27%  27%  [ 4 ]
Mean 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Hopeless 7%  7%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 15
Author Message
 Tragic

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 110
Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:41 pm

  A look upon the morning gaze and I see sunlight.I thought there would be no tomorrow,for he has left me.Yes. My love has left me blank....Lian has left me dark. I'm Tara. A girl who got dumped by Lian.He is going out with (sigh)..Dalin, my (grrrr) fri... EX-best-friend. Only Liz is there to support me.Yes.I look up. This is how it started.I am walking and see Liz(girl).She tries to cheer me up by telling me really funny jokes.I laugh.I look into her eyes and say "Wanna be in the track team?"She looks at me with no smile and says "no and LETS RACE!!!!We run and run and I bump into Lian."Tara?",says Lian. And there I see him. He is with my friend,Dalin(girl)."Look it's not what you think!"I run back home and sob.That is how I am here right now. (...).......




 Re: Tragic
moderator

Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 9:14 pm
Posts: 1714
Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:43 am

Hi aquaheart71, 

Could you move this to the Short Fiction/Post Work In Progress board? That's where you put work that you've written that you'd like feedback on. This is the General Discussion board.

I'd do it myself, but the new boards don't yet have that feature. 

Thanks, 

Write It Mod

 




 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:26 pm
Posts: 4
Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:02 pm
OMG! GREAT BOOK! ANY ONE WHO AGREES WITH ME SAY IT IN THE COMMENTS!!!!!!



 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:26 pm
Posts: 4
Fri Aug 17, 2012 9:04 pm
GET THIS BOOK PUBLISHED AQUAHEART71!!!!



 Re: Tragic

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 110
Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:27 pm
umm okay blueheart168



 Re: Tragic

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 110
Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:56 pm
I really appreciate if EVERYONE gave criticism.



 Re: Tragic
regular_visitor

Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:50 pm
Posts: 297
Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:26 pm
I kinda like. It might make a pretty good book. I wish you the best of luck with your writing.



 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2012 12:36 am
Posts: 5
Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:58 pm
i don't have any critisism



 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 12:29 am
Posts: 41
Sat Nov 10, 2012 7:18 pm
I think it sounds like Bella (Twilight Saga) when Edward leaves her in New Moon. Did you get your idea for that story in those books? p.s. I think it's cool if you did. Heaven knows how many times I've tried (and failed) to write a story as good as that. :)



 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:54 pm
Posts: 3759
Wed Nov 21, 2012 1:56 am
It is kind of confusing....



 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:05 am
Posts: 19
Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:31 am
I'm not a romance fan, but good romance section( not sure seems good). Try making a part 2. (I like reading random stories I find on the write it boards :D )

~ghostie, who forgot her siggy today :(



 Re: Tragic

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 pm
Posts: 110
Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:17 am
I am not either a big fan of romance, its just idk...in my head and i wanna expres it....ohh and i am making a part 2



 Re: Tragic
new

Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:57 pm
Posts: 20
Mon May 05, 2014 9:04 pm
Nice! The part with the track race was a tad confusing though...It seemed a little random to me. Other than that, it looks really good!



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