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   [ 3 posts ] Average score:  

More?~ Appreciate Some Feedback
Poll ended at Sun May 08, 2016 7:33 pm
Yes, make another chapter. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Fix a couple things in this one... But okay. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
No, don't make another chapter 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Other~ Leave other in replies! 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 0
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 Unleashed~ Prologue -Constructive Critisism Please-
new

Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2016 7:23 pm
Posts: 14
Fri Apr 08, 2016 7:33 pm

The crisp winds hit thier faces as they travel back to the guarded prison where they are to be held for the next hundred years. The eldest of the three goes by the name of Blake. She has the ability to summon and manipulate water of any form. The middle child is called Kaleb. She can summon and manipulate the wind and air. And the last child is Alex. She is able to summon and manipulate fire.

These are impossible thing you see. Yet the most impossile, but amzing thing of al is at when thy want to they can combine thier powers allowin them to use spirit magic. When the Leader of the land came to hear this news, she immdiately came to have them sentenced to the fathest place away from civlization.

The girls were supposed to stay at the prison in all obviousness but they escaped. Their sentence before was fifty years, but after thier escape attempt it was bumped up to 100. The Leader figured they wouldn't live that long.

Until she was provd wrong a hundred years later, where the girls were itching to leave on their final sentence day. Then things wnt very, ver wrong.

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A/N~ Hi!! I'm new to this whole Stacks thing, but I would really appreciate some constuctive critisim.~ Determinedangel93 laugh




 Re: Unleashed~ Prologue -Constructive Critisism Please-
new

Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 8:01 pm
Posts: 270
Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:51 am

What about a person that can manipulate earth? I think it's a good start, though.

-Dragoncrown485




 Re: Unleashed~ Prologue -Constructive Critisism Please-
new

Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 12:07 am
Posts: 10
Sat Jul 23, 2016 2:50 am

Hey! Bookishpessimistic1 here! (really need to work on that introwink

Great story! Sounds like awesome, descriptive writing around an interesing topic! (Oh gosh, I sound like that one super enthusiastic kindergarten teacher.cheeky) There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but after you fix those, I would say that your story is... uhhh... I've run out of positive adjectives, haven't I? Welp, anyways, great job!




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