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Author:  basiliskcreek3 [ Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:23 pm ]
Message subject:  Homeschooler

Hi, I'm  Ileah. But everyone just calls me munchkin or Leah. Why? Because I'm practically small. Let me get started on why I  go to homeschool. I went to kindergarten at four I passed the test I was given and off I went! I had fun in kindergarten! We had gym , music , art , snack time, nice teacher,reading buddies time, computers ectcetra . But 1st grade all of that stopped my teachers got mean. My 1st grade teacher Mrs.Rhoda yelled even when making statements! I knew not cross her. My 2nd grade teacher Mrs.Crumes nice but easy to get her firm too. But I always got distracted! To top all that a boy on bus punched me in my stomach . It was like he punched me into to tomorrow. crying Someone else bullied me until my Mom found out. I was depressed. :( But my Mom told she was going to get me in a homeschool. At first I thought about K-12 but instead we chose ECOT. The acronym stands for Electronic Classroom of Tomorrow. Now I'm 9 in the 4th grade still having time to do Tennis and spend time with family! I love that they give you Webcams and computers so when you go to a live session you get to see you're teachers. They have great trips especailly family night's where ever anyone or live have fun with family! Plus there's a spelling bee coming up! Where I live! I love my homeschool!

Author:  emeraldwarrior40 [ Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:40 am ]
Message subject:  Re: Homeschooler

Revision: tell us more about you. Give some extra introduction. Maybe exaggerate the small part a little. "practically a dwarf" or "practicalyy an elf"

"why I (edit suggestion: am homeschooled)"

Insert a period between four and I or a smicolon.

Put a comma after computers and et cetera is spelled wrong.

*But in first grade,"

My first grade teacher, Mrs. Rhoda, yelled...

put a vrb such as was between mrs. Crumes and nice.

Edit the phrase easy to get her firm to be more understandable.

That's it for the firsst paragraph. Try copying the whole thing in Microsoft Word so it can catch all the grammar and convention errors. Also, add details in certain places. At certain points, the memoir jumps too much.

Overall, that was an amazing memoir. You write well for your age. Beautiful!

Author:  unicorndolphin2264 [ Tue May 09, 2017 8:57 pm ]
Message subject:  Re: Homeschooler

Its a really really good writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!heart

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