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 WM's Untitled, ch.5
frequent_vsitor

Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:30 pm
Posts: 411
Sun Aug 29, 2010 4:47 pm
Okay, this is a really short (and possibly worthless) chapter. But I'm making up for that, because the next two chapters are long and important!

     Winded from the run, David stopped for a moment. Voices exploded in his head, causing a severe migrane. One voice would tell him to go back to the school and apologize, while another would tell him would tell him to go home and lock himself in his room, hiding from the shame that awaited him. Then another voice would try and get him to do something and a different voice would contradict it. His mind was a never ending cycle of indecision uncertainty uncertainty. The strange voice that kept popping up in his mind wasn't helping.
     The voice could always come up with a problem in each of the plans, thus creating a new, more complicated plan in its place. It didn't  even feel like his voice. An presence presence had taken residence in his head. But that was impossible. Alien or not, David's mind was filled to the brim with arguing. He felt like he was going to explode. I wonder if this is what congress is like, he thought.
      Trying to ignore the crowd in his head, David looked around. Looming in front of him were dark, ominous trees and prickly shrubs. A forest. Barely visible, a small path made its way around the plants, leading deeper into the woods. Behind him, a paved road went up a hill, going towards the neighborhood elementary elementary school. The area around him was deserted. He was alone.
      "And right where I want you," the alien voice said triumphantly. David possessed possessed. His body was disobeying him. Slowly, his right arm started moving towards his face, but in a way that seemed more mechanical than human. His hand stopped under his chin, forming victorious victorious fist. David blacked out.
      Opening his eyes only a moment later, David felt...Different. It only took him a second to figure out what was wrong. He wasn't in control of himself. Mind maybe, but not body. His arms and legs moved around first jerkingly, but after awhile, more normal. When he looked through his eyes, he felt like he was looking through a small window. It wasn't right. Who- That's when David felt it. The familiar alien presence, dark and now dangerous. Could it-
      "Not it," the voice interrupted. "Him." Suddenly, David was a overwhelmed by a brooding presence that numbed the conscience. He realized the voice wasn't just another voice that existed only in his imagination. A complex, independent, and probably living being had taken residence in David. And now, it was controlling him.

I think this chapter is a little unclear at the beginning. Any tips?
 
"It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do."
                                                                                       - Lightning
      



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