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 Working Title Needed

Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:44 pm
Posts: 1
Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:47 pm


Pale morning light slanted through the waxy green leaves.  Hidden among the dense foliage was a hooded figure, perched precariously upon a thick tree limb.  High above the dirt road the form waited silently, barely moving, barely discernable.  After many long moments the figure lifted a slender hand, and pulled the dark green hood of the cloak down, revealing a long mass of dark hair, and a pale face, set in concentration.  The young girl looked above, into the sun, frowned, then returned to observing the empty road.  It was time.
Slowly and quietly, the girl raised herself into a crouched position, raised and arm and retrieved a bow and quiver from the large branch above.  Returning to her kneeled position she looped the quiver around her back, then pulled the emerald cloak over her face once more, hoping to remain unseen among her green surroundings.  More time passed, and once the silence had stretched on for what seemed like eternity, the girl pulled an arrow from the quiver, knocked in, and pulled her arm behind her.
From the road came the heavy footsteps of a horse.  The creaking of a wooden carriage echoed among the dense forest.  With her face hidden in the shadow of her hood, the girl smirked.  Now the carriage was in view, elegant in design, bearing a carved crest of nobility.  Driving the grand carriage was a weasel of a man, skinny, pale, with beady eyes and a hooked nose.  His posture was crooked and bent over, as if he was expecting a scolding in any minute.  Accompanying the carriage driver was an ugly heavyset man with an impressive looking blade.  However the girl knew that a sword would be of no protection against a well shot arrow. The girl pulled her arm back farther and took aim, she licked her lips nervously, and her fingers twitched.  She was waiting for just the right moment. 
As soon as the carriage was in her line of sight, she exhaled deeply to calm her nerves.  Then, quite suddenly, her nimble fingers released the arrow.  It whistled through the air, hanging delicately as if frozen in time. In the time it took for the girl to blink, the arrow had lodged itself into the thick oak tree next to the sword-equipped guards head.  
The girl swore under her breath.  She had missed by a fraction of a millimeter in a mission that held no room for error.  The guard yelled in surprise, jumping up from his slouched position to do a quick survey around the forest.  He pressed a thick meaty hand down upon his ugly hat to keep it from being tossed away by the breeze.  The skinny driver beside him kept his dark rodent eyes on the road ahead.  But his fingers were clenched in fear.
Letting out another low oath the girl hung the bow over her shoulder, then attempted to slide off the branch of the tree that she was settled in.  Instead of landing gracefully on the ground like she had hoped, the girl landed in a patch of bushes and plants, the branches rustled and cracked beneath her weight and she cried out in frustration.  She was making too many mistakes today!
Alerted of her presence the guard yelled out in a deep voice, “Go!”  The driver snapped the reins and screeched in his own squeaky voice, “Yah!”  Soon the noble carriage was creaking and clattering down the road at a great speed.  Pulling twigs and leaves from out of her hair the girl yelled out to the empty forest, “There they go! We can’t let them get away!”  She took off after the carriage, ducking under branches and crashing through the underbrush.
Four figures clad in similar green cloaks jumped down from trees settled along the road.  Instead of crashing into bushes or rocks below, however, they landed gracefully on their feet and started darting after the girl leading them ahead.  One cloaked friend managed to catch up with her.
“Way to go, Serilda. Radolf is going to have your head for this.” He said between pants.  The two ducked under a low tree branch, and Serilda glared at him, “I did not miss by that much, Farrell.”
“The fact that you missed at all is going to upset him.  You and I both know that.” 
Serilda knew that Farrell was right.  Not wanting to argue any longer she said, “Don’t worry.  We will catch them.”
“You had better pray to the gods that we do.” Farrell replied solemnly.  Serilda gave him a curt nod, and returned her gaze to the forest ahead.  The group of five figures raced through the woods, hoping to catch up with the carriage before it made it’s way to the bridge.  After crossing the water it was unsafe to trail them, for they would be too close to a town or settlement.
The group cut across a small stream to the west.  And eventually passed into a large clearing.  A small footpath led back into the woods that brought them back to the road.  “We should be ahead of them now.”  Said one cloaked figure, who pulled it’s hood down to reveal a man with a fierce face.  His voice was rough his eyes were cold as stone, “We will wait for them here.”
“How do we not know that they haven’t passed by already?” Serilda asked, staring at the road.
“We don’t.” Responded the man.  “That’s why you’re going to wait here while we scout farther.”
“Ladon, I must come with-” Serilda began to protest was cut off by Ladon raising his hand. 
“You are in no position to argue.  We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for your many mistakes earlier.”  Serilda flinched at his words, though she knew them to be true. 
“Then…I will stay.  What should I do if they come?”  She reluctantly agreed, looking at her feet.  Ladon nodded, “Come to warn us, lie low.”  He waved a hand at the green clad figures around him, and they set off once more into the forest.  Farrell stopped before entering the shadows of the trees with the others, “There is no need to fear Ladon,” Farrell spoke, “He knows you’re not the best shot in the first place.  For giving you such as an important position, well, this is as much his fault as it is yours.”
Serilda narrowed her eyes and scowled, making a rude gesture at him.  Farrell chuckled and then raced away, leaving Serilda alone with her thoughts.  She leaned against a thick oak tree, keeping her eyes on the road where the carriage was supposed to be coming from.  This particular carriage was full of tax collectors, who were little more than thieves themselves.  The poor families and the small settlements could barely pay to feed themselves, let alone pay the immense taxes that the kingdom enforced.
Serilda waited, eventually sitting down to rest.  After having spent the most of the night and early morning preparing for the attack on the carriage she was exhausted.  At one point she felt herself dozing off, but forced herself to remain conscious.
There are no more excuses for making mistakes.  You must not ruin this chance.  She reminded herself.  However she couldn’t help the thick shadow of drowsiness, and she closed her eyes.
I will rest for only a little while…only a small time, the carriage will not pass by anyway…
Suddenly the clatter wood and sound of hooves startled her awake.  Serilda leapt to her feet, peering out at the road.  The carriage was rattling down the road, the grey horses shook their manes and flicked flies away.  Despite her orders to run and alert the others of the carriage Serilda grinned and pulled up her hood, now was her chance to fully redeem the mistakes from earlier.  Confident she could successfully pull off the raid herself, Serilda pulled out her bow, knocked an arrow, and with a deep breath stepped out into the road.  
“Stand and deliver.” She called out.  However her voice was weak and breathy, unable to be heard over the loud hoof beats.  She tried once more, “Stand and deliver!”  She yelled fiercely.  This time she knew the carriage driver and guard had heard her, for the rattle of the carriage ceased.
There was a long moment of silence, Serilda kept her gaze locked on the guard, her arrow trained at his heart.  Suddenly, the guard burst into loud obnoxious laughter, “You think we will follow your orders highwayman?  You are smaller than a woman, leave us be, run back into the forest before you harm yourself with that bow.” He wiped his tears of mirth away from his ugly bulging eyes.
Anger welled up inside Serilda, she clenched her teeth, and tightened her grip on the bow.  “Do not be so quick to laugh.  I have this arrow aimed for your heart, do not think me afraid to release it and end your life.”
“Was it you who shot at us earlier?” The guard mocked, “Your aim was impeccable.”  He chortled once more, his large belly jiggling with each breath.  Rage swelled in Serildas chest.  She narrowed her eyes and adjusted her aim, with a low twang the arrow flew through the air, and the guards hideous and ratty hat was suddenly speared off his pasty head.
The guard raised his hand and clapped it over his bald scalp.  The look of surprise and fear that passed over his face made his eyes bulge out even farther.  Serilda smiled under her hood, but quickly knocked another arrow before the guard could recover.
That was my best shot yet.  She thought gleefully.  “My aim has greatly improved. now if you do not wish death upon yourself I suggest you step down from the carriage slowly.”
With his mouth gaped open in shock the guard clumsily threw himself down from the carriage, causing it to shake significantly.  The thin carriage driver was nearly thrown from his seat.  He held on to the reins and carriage for dear life.  Serilda could barely suppress her laughter.
She managed to compose herself as the guard turned to look at her, his fingers dangerously close to the hilt of his sword.  “Throw your sword here,” she barked, seeing his hand inch toward it, “I would not advise trying to use it.” 
The guard grunted, spat on the road, then tore the hilt off from around his waist.  He paused, looking at the sword longingly with his large eyes.  Finally, he tossed the sword as hard and angrily as he could toward Serilda.  She took a tentative step forward, then another, and bent to retrieve it.  She picked up the sword and tossed aside, then adjusted her bow once more.
“Now, open the carriage.  Tell the riders to step out with their hands up.”
The guard followed her instructions, opening the left door and mumbling to the people inside.  Two old men leapt down, noble bright colored clothes.  They didn’t appear to have any weapons, so Serilda relaxed slightly.  She reached under her cloak and pulled out a thick sack.  “Place your gold in here.”  She instructed.
The nobles looked at their guard, dumbfounded that he had allowed this slender, unthreatening highway man overtake them.  The guard shrugged, “If I were you I would follow his orders, he’s got a bow.”
One of the nobles wearing bright blue stepped forward and snatched up the sack, he took it to his partner, and they tossed heavy bags full of coins inside.  The other noble, clad in blood red, threw the sack full of money back to Serilda.  Who grabbed it an tucked it back into her cloak.
“Thank you, gentleman.” She said cheerfully, then paused.  Serilda hadn’t given much thought as to what she would do after the money had been obtained.  She couldn’t kill the men, as much as she wanted to.  Their red pompous faces made her blood run hot with fury, but she couldn’t kill them, it wouldn’t be right.  No matter how horrible they were.
In a snap decision she lowered her bow slightly, but still kept the arrow knocked, “You may go.” She said.
The guard helped the tax collectors back inside their carriage.  The blue clad tax collector turn and screamed in a haughty voice, “You will not get away with this.  There are no dungeons dark and putrid enough for fiends like you! You will be executed! I will have your head for this!” Serilda almost felt sorry for him.  Almost.  
“I look forward to finding out if your threats are legitimate, sir.” She answered.  The tax collectors face puffed up in anger, he opened his mouth to shout something else but the one wearing blue shoved him and crawled into the carriage as well.  Once the guard had managed to pull himself back into his seat the driver clacked the reins again, and the men sped away.  Serilda stepped back from the road, watching as the carriage disappeared around the bend.  With a laugh she turned and dashed into the forest. 
**This is of course a rough draft, and I will make necessary edits later, I was just curious as to whether or not this is interesting to anyone? What do you guys think?

 Re: Working Title Needed

Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2012 6:02 pm
Posts: 14
Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:21 pm
i like it its really good good job girl :) :) bookworm359

 Re: Working Title Needed

Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 1056
Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:42 pm
For a rough draft, this is very good. You are a talented writer--I could see that right away. The story is excellent, and your use of descriptive words makes it almost poetic.
The idea in itself is very interesting. However, it was a bit hard for me to follow. So my only advice here is to try and clarify a few more things. Other then that, great job! :)


 Re: Working Title Needed

Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:54 pm
Posts: 3759
Thu Nov 22, 2012 2:10 am
awesome story,you are an awesome write (I awesomly like the word awesome,very awesome right?)

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